The Line

For You

Rain taps on the windows gently, droplets slowly sliding down, leaving tracks of their paths that are quickly erased by their brothers and sisters that follow. Cars trudge their way through the streets, a woman crosses the road hastily, her heels clicking on the slick grey pavement.

I open the windows to let in the moist air, damp and thick smelling, intertwining with the sounds of rain hitting leaves and concrete outside.

I look into the gloom, and I wonder about you.

What's it like where you are? In your city where your thoughts can be drowned out by airplanes, by an overcrowded population, by responsibilities. Here I can hardly see the skyline through this haze.

The distance between us is immense. So vast and empty, that I can barely bring myself to think of it, without my heart falling apart. Piece by piece.

You and your endless sea of faces. Would you be able to recognise me if I swam along with them? Would you be able to drop it all, to give it all up. To give us both a break?

I am being naive, and I know it. But I'm allowed to be, because all the love I feel for you, it's all just that. Unconditional, innocent, chaste. It's all based on the perfect version of you that I think I know.

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for putting you on that pedestal, for expecting so much when I know, that I could never reciprocate any of it.

Sometimes I think that loving you like this is enough, that I don't need any of that euphoria given back to me. Other times, I lay awake in a numbing pain, questioning why I feel so alone. It's all too much to bare, on this fresh heart of mine. And on this rainy day, I'm not even sure if it's you, or the idea of you.

So I think of fantasy instead. A place where you are perfect, and so am I. And I leave you to make me feel the way that you do, despite everything. Delicate, tender and in full bloom.

I'm sorry honey, for being so melodramatic.

But can you blame me?

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So this piece was originally meant for a writing contest on Wattpad, BUT after I'd written it, made a cover, published it etc. I read the terms and conditions and turns out you have to be a legal citizen of the US to enter. 

Fml. 

Anyway, I thought I'd put it in this book instead so that it doesn't completely go to waste! 

Hope it's still enjoyable :) 

(And yes, to anyone that noticed, the first paragraph is taken from Sunday which is another chapter in this book.) 

Here's the cover I made... 

Thanks as always for reading, voting, commenting etc. xxx