The Sacrifices We Make

Chapter Ten - 2015

But today. Today Jade was not in her zone. The many times they were asked to sing at different radio stations she would have to keep stopping herself from getting caught up in Perrie. She hoped that on the outside it didn't look as rigid as it felt. Jade was afraid fans would wonder if she was bipolar, leaning in to Perrie one moment, then turning away quickly the next, only to be beaming at her ten seconds later. On the one hand, she had to cut herself some slack. When the person you're in love with has a voice like Perrie's, how could you not just melt into a puddle? But on the other hand, she had been doing this for four months, and was frustrated that she seemed to be declining in her coping tactic skills instead of improving.

In her defense, Perrie had not been helping that morning. Jade felt as if the blonde had forgotten they were a secret with how much the girl was looking and smiling at her while they were singing. And Jade could not resist those eyes.

Damn those deep, ocean blue eyes!

After the girls had gotten in line at the fast food restaurant and ordered, Jade slipped away to the bathroom to touch up her make-up while Jesy, Leigh-Anne, and Perrie scouted a table for them to sit.

Jade stood in front of the mirror and took a deep breath, a bit frustrated with how sloppy both she and Perrie had been that morning.

Get your shit together Thirlwall. You may be in love but this is your career, damn it.

Just then the door to the ladies restroom opened and Perrie Edwards walked in, a goofy grin on her face.

"Guess who!" She yelled-whispered, and then hugged Jade from behind so that they were both looking into the mirror.

"Hi," Jade whispered contentedly as she closed her eyes and let Perrie's scent wash over her. It felt so good to have just a moment like this with her love. Perrie placed a kiss on the side of Jade's head.

"You sounded amazing today at the Seacrest interview, if I do say so myself," Perrie commented as she moved her lips to the shell of Jade's ear. The sensation caused a shiver to shoot down Jade's spine.

"Mmmm, so did you," Jade practically purred, grabbing Perrie's forearms and tightening her hold around Jade's waist.

Suddenly Jade realized where they were and how easily they could be caught in such a tender embrace, it was a miracle no one had walked in on them so far, and pushed herself away from Perrie. And all the frustration she was feeling, that familiar fear of losing control bubbled to the surface.

"What the hell is with you today?" She asked sharply.

Perrie, very confused by the sudden change in Jade's demeanor, wasn't sure how to answer.

"Uhhhh, what?"

"You might as well just tell the whole world that we're in love with the way you've been ogling me all morning! We both are getting lazy with covering up our feelings and it's freaking me out – I'm afraid someone's going to find out," said Jade, pacing the bathroom.

"I'm sorry! I'm just so tired and I'm having trouble keeping all of my stupid feelings in check. It's so exhausting having to analyze every word I say and move I make to be sure it doesn't 'give us away,'" Perrie replied, defeated.

"I wouldn't be surprised if Jesy or Leigh-Anne was on to us because of your inability to be cool!" Jade's anxiety was through the roof and she wanted to pick a fight. She needed to feel in control again.

Perrie, now feeling frustration on top of her exhaustion, wasn't going to let Jade walk all over her, "Oh, so this is all my fault? It's a two way street Jade. You're getting sloppy too, so don't try to push this all on me."