Recovering

What's Wrong?

She sighed. "I'll just show you." She slid her phone under the door. "How c-can you f-fix that?" I heard her sobbing and I heard something dripping on the wooden floor.

I picked up her phone and saw so many messages that were similar to the ones I use to get. Telling her to do things that were so awful. Calling her so many terrible names. "Sabrina open the door." I said again.

"No. Like I said, you can't fix it. Just let me die in here." I handed her phone to Corey and stretched. "Rowan I'll fix your door later." I backed up and took a deep breath before kicking her door open. The others had their mouths open in shock. I learned to do that while I was in New York, but I didn't think that I actually had to ever do it again.

Sabrina seemed unfazed and she was face down on Rowan's bed. "I said to leave me alone. Please just leave me the fuck alone, okay." She said.

"No. We're going to help you with whatever you're going through." Jake said.

"There is nothing that you all can do. Relax. I'm just fine." She said, laying down on her back with her eyes closed.

"Everyone in this room can tell that you're not fine." Corey said and she let out a bitter laugh.

"Oh, but you see I am fine. This isn't anything new for me. With any emotion I'm feeling, or if I'm not feeling anything at all, I will always answer with I'm fine. I'll always consider myself to be fine." She said, opening her eyes. They were a dark blue and her eyes were bloodshot.

"Sabrina-" She cut me off.

"Do you know what goes through my head every time that I hear my own name? The girl with a ugly face. The girl with an imperfect body. The girl who people wants dead." She whimpered and I saw tears roll down her cheeks.

"Bri. You are perfect in every way and we don't want you dead. Everyone who matters wants and needs you alive." I said and she shook her head.

"Stop lying to me. You don't need me." She said coldly. "You say you do, but you don't. Nobody needs me around in their life."

"Well then call me a nobody, because I need you in my life. I love you." I said and she turned her head towards me.

"You what?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"I love you. I love you with all my heart. You are the definition of perfect. You are my everything and more people than you think loves and cares about you."

"You have no idea about how much I love and care about you. There are literally no words for how much I love you and you have my heart and I don't want it back. I don't mind your shadows and all we have is love. This isn't a mirage and I know it might seem like love feels like loneliness sometimes." The others groaned because of the puns I made with her songs, but Sabrina giggled.

I sat next to her on the bed and grabbed her hand. "This isn't almost love Sabrina. It's love. I need you in my life and I care about you. I love you and I'll say that as many times as you want and need me too. I love you with everything I have." I finished.

She sat up on the bed and faced me. "I love you too." She captured my lips in a passionate kiss before she pulled away.

"Thank you so much because I really needed that." She said softly.

She made a serious face before she spoke again. "And just so you know, puns are my thing." She said, sassily.

"Okay. No more puns for me." I put my hands up in surrender.

"Let me see my phone." Sabrina said to Corey. "Are you sure?" Corey asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. I know what I'm going to do." Corey handed her her phone and Sabrina got up, grabbed a hammer, and broke it.

"Sabrina, that's like the third phone that you've broken this year." She shrugged. "Only this time it was intentional and I needed to."

"Are you okay now?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, but I feel ...better if that's what you mean." She wiped off her face. "I want to go home and see my sister." She said.

"Of course. I'll drive you over there." I got up and she smiled.

"Thanks." She said and turned to Rowan.

"Thank you Rowan for taking care of me. I'm sorry for taking over your room." She said and Rowan waved it off.

"No it's fine." Jake quickly pulled her into a hug when she faced him.

"I love you Sabrina. You're like my sister and I care about you so much." He said, leaning down because off the height difference.

"I love you too Jake." She said. "I love all of you very much."

"Ready to go?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah." She said, giving everyone a hug before leaving.

We drove to her house in silence and then we finally made it over there. "I'm scared." She said, grabbing onto my hand.

"Why are you scared?" I asked the blonde beauty.

"I've said more things than I should've last night. What if she thinks that I'm too much for her? What is she leaves me alone and never talks to me again? I need my sister with me." She put her face in her hands.

"This is Sarah we're talking about. She would never think that and she cares about a lot."

"Are you sure?" She asked, hopefully.

"Of course." She got out of the car and I followed behind her. I knock on the door and Sabrina started rocking on her heels. The door opened and we were met by Sarah's worried face. She looked relieved when she saw Sabrina.

"Oh my. Sabrina, don't ever do that again! You had me worried sick." Sarah gave her a big hug and lifted her up off the ground.

"I need to breathe." Sabrina said and Sarah put her back down.

"You're not a burden Sabrina. Why would you ever think that?" Sarah asked and the two of us came inside.

"It just seemed like I was. It's like no matter what I do, I cause some sort of trouble for someone." Sabrina said and I squeezed her hand reassuringly. She looked at me before looking back at Sarah.

"I know that I probably shouldn't have left, but we both know what would've happened." She said and Sarah nodded in. "I know Bri and I don't think anyone wants to go through that again. Nobody would handle that if it happened a second time."

I, on the other hand, was confused as to what that meant. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"I, um, I'll tell you later. Okay?" Sabrina said and I nodded. Not the time to ask her questions about it. "Okay." I said.

"So..." Sabrina trailed off. "This weekend, we're going to Pennsylvania to visit our family. Are you coming with us?"

"Totally. I haven't seen them in a while." Sarah answered.

"Okay then. So I need to go." Sabrina said standing up. "I broke my phone again."

"Bullying?" Sarah asked and Sabrina slowly nodded.

"Yeah but I'll get past it." She said, opening the front door. "Maybe." I heard her mumbled under her breath before leaving. Only I heard her say it.

You'll get through it Sabrina. We're going to help you.