Narrator: Dincop is teaching the alien commander how to make the signature alien whistling noise. The captain is having difficulties with tongue-to-tooth interaction.
Alien: I will not tolerate instructions, doubt is unhealthy in a regime.
Dincop: But you clearly can't do this without assistance.
Narrator: Alien proceeds to blow raspberries.
Dincop: My point proven.
Alien: It is not required in my pulverization plan to include whistling in my skillset.
Dincop: If that is the case, I will resume progress on my technical project that is too technical for the viewer to understand.
Narrator: Alien watches Dincop walking away down the hall.
Alien: That inaccurate depiction of technical work is so riddled with inaccuracy, I want to investigate it.
Narrator: Alien looks away. Grandma appears.
Grandma: Speed down ship
Narrator: Alien slows down the ship.
Alien: I was going to shift the acceleration to superluminal speeds, I must transport the MOS across space to exit the earthly planet of Earth.
Grandma: You was to crash other.
Alien: I respect that Grandma, however the plan was to be executed exactly as planned.
Narrator: Meanwhile, our heroes are discussing strategies, back on earth.
Candice: Rather than pursuing the ship, we should draw it towards us.
Buck: How are we going to do that?
Candice: I do not know. The ship is very fast.
Carissa: Alright so to do that we have to bait the aliens.
Andy: Let us incorporate some Andy™ thinking. Why would the aliens want to come to Earth? What do they want?
Buck: I read in a magazine that aliens like rubber because it is an earth-exclusive substance.
Candice: Thats stupid. How would the aliens make tires?
Buck: They could use a different rubber-like substance exclusive to their planet.
Narrator: Candice was frustrated because she realized Buck was correct.
Candice: Frick.
Andy: We need to broadcast it across to the aliens.
Candice: How do we avoid turning it into a garage sale?
Andy: With expensive technology.
Buck: You are not stealing from a pharmacy again.
Andy: Relax Buck we are going to sell rubber to the aliens and pay the stores back with the money.
Buck: Why would a pharmacy even have technology advanced enough to broadcast messages to other planets?
Andy: The plan has already been formulated. There is no time to change it.
Buck: How do we know that they're not going to just buy the rubber and leave?
Andy: We will trap them once they come to earth!
Buck: If we trap them, they will not be willing to pay.
Andy: There is no time to change the plan!
Buck: Are you delusional?
Andy: I am not delusional, I am determined. Determined to complete the plan that we are not going to change no matter the circumstances!
Narrator: Buck gets conveniently struck on the head by bird poop, rendering him unable to protest for the time being.
Narrator: Andy and the gang proceed to the pharmacy.
Andy: Good thing it's not the same cashier as the last time we stole form here.
Cashier: You what?
Andy: Nothing!
Narrator: The cashier is suspicious.
Andy: Hey, look! It's a portable radio tower capable of broadcasting to other planets! Perfect!
Candice: How are you going to hide this in your pants? Its a radio tower!
Andy: I'm not. We have military equipment in our basement, remember?
Carissa: Oh yeah. Pretty good stuff, but I don't like to go down there. How much rust is on all that equipment?
Andy: I cleaned it thoroughly when I woke up after getting back from the alien MOS.
Carissa: What does military stuff have to do with bringing the radio tower back?
Andy: There is a giant electromagnet.
Narrator: A crowd begins to form around the group due to curiosity.
Random #1: Aliens? You're crazy!
Random #2: You can't steal a radio tower!
Random #3: What did you say about a military base? I wanna see it!
Random #4: Who is that guy with the bird poop on his head?
Narrator: The squad eventually notice the crowd. Things are not looking up for our heroes.
Andy: Looks like Plan A failed.
Act 5
Start from the beginning
