The Boy Across the Street (Brendon Urie)

Chapter 16: Can't Run From Heart Break

Brendon's POV

I woke up with my eyes exhausted and puffy. I turned my head to look at the clock that read 5:32. It wasn't time for me to get up yet, but I've been having trouble sleeping. I laid there staring at the ceiling, dreading the events that had to follow today. I wasn't prepared at all. If I could, I wouldn't go to school at all, but of course I had to.

I finally dragged myself out of bed and brought myself to the mirror while rubbing my eyes. I knew I probably didn't want to look at how much of a mess I was, but I did anyways. My hair was all over the place. It was sticking up in all directions. My eyes were sore, red, and puffy. My face looked tired and pained. I decided to turn away from my self pity and go eat breakfast.

I made my way down the stairs to go get some cereal. As I was pouring cereal into my bowl I heard a car. I looked out the window to see a guy pulling into Becca's driveway. It was the same guy that she's been hanging out a lot with lately. I think his name was Ryan. She sure did move on fast. I mean I don't know if we're broken up, but she hasn't talked to me in a while and she's hanging out with a new guy. I think it's safe to assume we're over, and if not eventually will be. It pained me to think that but my hope was dwindling. I brushed back my hair as he walked into her house. I turned away knowing that was happening because of me. Cereal at that point wasn't wanted. I went up stairs to my room pulling my hair in frustration.

As I was upset and angry, and just wanted to forget. I remembered my stash. I didn't tell Rebecca about how I used to smoke weed, because the habit was gone. I haven't smoked in a while but the urge for my high was strong right now. I got out my stash and started rolling up a joint. I haven't done this in so long. Weed never got rid of the pain but it numbed it. Which was as close to gone as I was gonna get. After I was done rolling the joint, I lit it and took a long drag. I exhale the smoke with a relieving feeling. I knew I shouldn't be smoking but I was. I didn't feel guilty about it. It was my way to vent. I didn't care at that moment if it was bad or whatever.

I finished smoking and just sat there feeling my high. Everything felt extremely slow. I sat there trying to solve every problem in the world, but failed. After my high was done and the food in the kitchen was consumed, I got ready for school. I got rid of any trace of weed that could be found. I even took a shower.

I got in my car and drove to school. When I arrived I saw Ryan and Becca sitting together laughing up a storm. I glanced at her as I took my seat not far from her's. I kinda kept to myself trying to go unnoticed in class today. Apparently that didn't work too well "Mr. Urie could you at least pretend to pay attention?!" Mr. Johnson yelled at me. "Yeah, sorry." I said looking up at him. I could feel Rebecca's eyes burning at me. I just ignored them while I looked down at my book.

The bell finally rang and class was over. I was relieved because next class was study hall. I would probably go down to the skate park or something to try and get my mind off things. Ever since me and Rebecca's fight I've been trying to keep myself busy so I can forget about it. Of course that isn't working though.

I was loading up my bag with my books when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned my head to see Becca. My stomach felt nervous and her green eyes were prettier than ever. I didn't break eye contact with her. "Umm, can we talk after school? Your place?" She asked. "Umm, sure." I said looking down at her hand that was still on my arm. "Ok see you then." She said as she dragged her hand across my arm and walked out of the room with Ryan.

I wasn't excited for this "talk" because I had a feeling she wanted to end things. I didn't want us to end. I loved her. I loved her to the point it hurt. I wasn't ready to let go of her. I don't think I'd ever be. It felt like she had melted and started slipping between my fingers. I didn't want someone else holding her hand. I didn't want someone else to hug her when she's sad and scared. I didn't want anyone else kissing her lips. I understood how she felt now, that day she called a timeout. I had to watch her slowly fade away. I wasn't ready. It felt like tomorrow all hope would be gone and I wasn't ready to face it all alone.