Living As Jaye

Enough

***The remainder of this story will contain trigger material***

If this is not something you want to continue reading, please skip the remainder of this chapter. This part of the story deals the following themes and situations:

Sexual violence
Domestic abuse
Sexual assault
Rape
Violence

After what happened in the hotel, Ryan began to act more and more erratic. He seemed to no longer care about hurting me or others. He had to see me every single day, held sex parties every other weekend where the men paid $1,000 a pop for hours of literally doing whatever they wanted to me and other girls that his friends supplied. One party, a girl named Amy had to deal with Richard, the shit man.

Like me, or any person really, she refused to do what he wanted. Matt was her guy and he was crazy. Richard was a high paying client who paid top dollar for us. I learned my lesson not to fuck around when it came to Richard after Ryan pushed me down the stairs for it. Ryan called for me I walked to where he and Matt were when I noticed Amy and her broken nose. "Ryan was telling me how behaved you are when it comes to servicing men. I want you to do me a favor and help Amy learn what will happen if she continues to cost me money." Matt walked over to me and handed me a gun. I took it looked at Amy shaking her head and pleading with Matt and me.

"Bitch shut the fuck up!" I yelled as I smacked her across the face with the gun. I felt the tears forming in my eyes but I knew if I didn't do this, Matt would probably kill her and Ryan would probably do worse to me for making him look like a fool in front of Matt. She looked up at me with those big blue eyes and I mouthed to her "Get through this or he'll kill you." She understood that if Matt thought I was taking it easy on her, we both would be in trouble so she took the remainder of my beating. I took her to the bathroom to get her cleaned up and as soon as we got in there, fell to my knees and begged her to forgive me. She told me I was right about Matt doing worse so she wasn't upset. As I wiped the blood from her face, I saw myself as Amy. How many times has Ryan been in this same bathroom with me, fixing the damage he made? It was then and there that I realized that I had to leave Ryan and I had to leave him for good.

The final party I attended cemented my feelings. It wasn't a regular party either. All of his friend's who had girls like me came over with them for Memorial Day weekend. Since realizing that I needed to get away from him, I became more standoffish towards him. At first, it was fine since he was always busy but I could tell it was starting to bother him. He saw me in the bedroom we once shared, writing in my journal. He knew I only did did that when something was bothering me. He came in and asked what I was doing with a smile. I couldn't tell you how long it had been since I saw him smile. I told him that I wasn't doing anything and resumed to my writing. I felt him staring at me and I didn't care. What could he be mad at with me writing? He snatched the journal from me and he flipped through it. He read that I was ready to leave him for good and how I hated how he made me feel like a whore.

He grabbed me and dragged me to where everyone was and told the girls to go somewhere. "My beautiful yet stupid Jaye feels like a whore and I want you all to make sure she gets her wish. I don't care if you even kill the bitch." He threw me to the floor and he sat back. I wanted to run but I knew out of the twelve men there, one of them would catch me. Someone grabbed me and I told them to let me go. I tried fighting them off but I wasn't able to. I was pinned down and didn't even try to fight them off of me anymore. I laid there and accepted yet another gang rape at the hands of my fiance. He watched me just like the night we met.