Chapter 29 - Power To Love

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Friday, 8th August, 1986

The Ritz, Marbella, Spain

-This is so beautiful. - I sighed. We were sitting on the balcony of the suite on a deck chair, me between Roger's legs, my head resting on his shoulder, his arms tightly around me - I've never seen anything like this before. - I added as I looked around. The white sand of Costa del Sol was almost shining in the light of the sunset, which beautifully coloured the blue water of The Mediterranean to orange. The coast was not so busy now, only some couples were wandering barefeet in the hot sand.

-Yeah. - was all Roger said on a gentle voice as he looked at me - Neither me. - he caressed my face and hair. It was much later when he confessed me he wasn't praising the same view as me at that moment.

-Have you already been there? - I reached out my hand, pointing to the harbour down by the coast, where dozens, if not hundreds of luxury yachts were lining up.

-A couple times, yeah. We used to stop here on the way to Ibiza. - he looked to the direction where I was pointing.

-Hm, Ibiza...that must be wonderful, too. - I looked at him.

-It is - he smiled - but a crazy place as well. Reeeeeally crazy.

-I think I rather don't want to know. - I turned back to the wonderful sunset. Roger didn't say anything, just laughed and then kissed my temple. We stayed in silence for a couple of minutes and in the meantime night fell on us suddenly. Roger took off his Ray Bans, put them to the table next to us, then I felt him to kiss my hair again before he spoke up:

-Lyv...

-Hm?

-The tour's almost over. - he started to fiddle with my fingers. I looked at him, waiting for the rest, but a couple long moments passed until he spoke up again - What do you think?

-Well, I think it went on great. You guys are really now where you belong and supposed to be. And I guess where you always dreamed to be...playing all those successful stadium-gigs.

-Well, yes. - he laughed out, still fiddling with my hand and fingers - But it's not really what I meant.

-Hm? No? - I looked at him again, only to see him in complete embarrassment.

-No. You know, I was thinking about...about our compromise.

-Oh, I see. - I turned my face back, to watch the shiny stars. Now I understood everything: it was our last night before we all go back to London the next day. One more last gig in Knebworth, but all the boys will be joined by their families again in the Ritz tomorrow, including Roger. This means we'll have separate rooms and dozens of cameras following again, just like at the Wembley weekend. And the haunting obvious truth I was running away from came back in a second. Since that moment by the pool a couple days ago it kept on coming back again and again, no matter how hard I tried to escape from it.

-So? What do you think? - he caressed my hair one more time.

-I don't know what to say, Rog...I really don't. Because...because it's quite obvious I think. - I mumbled. Though I knew this conversation will sooner or later happen between us, I wasn't ready for it.

-I'm glad you're saying this. Because I also think we should continue. - he said quietly.

-Continue? - I pushed myself up leaning on his knees and turned around to face him - That's not what I was talking about.

-Are you saying...do you want to...Lyv, you really want to break-up? - he looked at me confused.

-No, Rog. - I looked at him with painful eyes - I don't want to. But we will have to.

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