Ain't Nothing To It, Real One Aint Nothing To It, Boss

Trish

With Ángel dead I know I was supposed to be sleeping like a baby, but something told me we weren't over just yet. The cartel had to know I had something to do with his death and it was only a matter of time before someone came looking for me, ready to get revenge for their fallen leader. Koi assured me that he wouldn't let anything happen to me, and I trusted his words, but they were spoken before I threw O'Neal in his face. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he left me out to dry. I know I would. My safety was the running commentary going through my head as I got ready for class. Tina was dressed in her bank tellers uniform wrapping up her lunch when I entered.

"Good morning, honey. I can give you a ride to school if you take your breakfast to go," she said, handing me a paper plate with Belgian waffle and some sausage links.

Any chance to skip the horrible commute on the train was fine by me. I placed a piece of plastic wrap over my sandwich and followed behind her, kissing my father on the cheek on my way out the door. Tina was all smiles as she glided through the courtyard, waving to the little kids on their way to school and asking their mothers how their weekend was. Ever since I was a kid Tina would do this same song and dance, mingling with everyone and asking how they were doing while I would be standing right beside her, silently suffering. I still inclined my head politely, smiling at them as they gave me one of those pity smiles back, wistfully thinking of the day I would never have to see any of these motherfuckers ever again.

"I don't know why you never hang out with any of the girls from the block," Tina said once we were inside of the car.

I took a bite of sausage and mulled over the perfect reply. "Because none of them bitches like me, ma. I think you keep forgetting that they all used to make fun of me."

"You know how mean kids can be sometimes. Let go of that pain, Trish. If you don't it's going to always hold you back."

I cut my eyes at her. "Even if I didn't want to hang out with any of them, we have nothing in common. They have kids, I don't; I'm in college, they're not; their idea of having a good time is hanging in front of the building smoking, mine is going to work and making money. Face it, ma. You got stuck with the weird kid."

"Weird?" It was Tina's turn to cut her eyes at me. "My baby is not weird. Misguided, yes; irrational, yes; occasionally stupid, of course, but there is nothing weird about you, Trish Boswell. God made you the way you are for a reason, and it goes beyond these fucking projects. Shit, I wish I was weird. Maybe then I wouldn't be a forty-two-year-old bank teller. I could be a future chemist like you."

"Where was this pep talk when I needed it? Do you have any idea how much of my life has been effected by what the people in the neighborhood used to say about me?" Tina remained silent. "Maybe I wouldn't have ended up with a married man."

"What?" Tina struggled between keeping her eyes on the road and looking at me with disbelief in her eyes. "Trish, you said he had a girlfriend..."

"I lied. That's what I do; I lie and hide things from the people I love. Like the fact that he was beating me."

A barrage of honking horns interrupted the intimate moment as Tina pulled over to the side of the road. She sat staring straight ahead, struggling to form a proper sentence. After five minutes of opening and closing her mouth, she settled with, "You let someone put their hands on you? Trish, your father has always treated me right. What would make you think it was okay for anyone to hurt you?"

"That's what happens when you have an absence of self-worth. Life didn't even seem livable. I wouldn't be sitting here next to you if Koi Mackenzie didn't pull me from the bridge by the docks," I admitted.

Tina placed her hands over her mouth. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm tired of being like you. Plastering on a fake smile to talk with people I don't like pretending to give a fuck when I know I don't," I said, sinking into my seat and being overcome by this sense of...relief. "With Ángel dead, it's now my time to start over and finally start living my life unapologetically."