Bigger Than Us

Chapter 1

"Already. Why don't you stay for dinner, baby." Christine smiled lightly.

I forced a smile on my face looking at her. "Kaden will be home soon. I have to be there". I said looking at my father who was giving a hard look.

He clenched his jaw as if he was trying to speak. I placed my hand on his cheek stroking his jaw lightly using my thumb.

"I will come to visit you soon, dad. I promise." I smiled before softly kissing his cheek. "I will come visit soon". I sighed standing up. "Bye Christine."

"See you soon, sweetheart. Just call if you need anything". She smiled moving closer to pull me into a tight hug.

I glanced at my father one more time before walking out of the room.

*******

I parked my car before looking at the house I am supposed to call home. The house I'm always scared to go to. The house I am scared to call home, scared that I could possibly call it home forever.

A mansion that felt more like a prison to me.

I slowly got out and make my way to the house while looking for my keys.

I slowly opened the door but his voice startled me before I even got the chance to close the door.

"Where were you?" He asked making me jump out of my skin.

I slowly around to look at the man I call my husband. He looked at me waiting for an answer as I closed the front before facing him.

"I... I went to see my parents." I said trying to keep my hands from shaking.

What did he always make me feel like I was committing a crime, with the simplest things, like visiting my parents.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked slowly walking up to me.

"I told you yesterday." I said lowly moving further against the door, praying for it to swallow me.

"I called you. Where is your phone?" He asked.

"I... I forgot it here." I said lowly. "It's in the room. I'm sorry."

He stood right in from of me, He softly ran a hand though my hair before he fisted his hand into them. "Your phone should always be with you knowing that you are not with your husband and he could call you anytime". He growled lowly pulling hard forcing my eyes on him. "When will you learn?"

"I'm sorry." I said holding my tears and trying to keep my voice steady.

I am not going to cry.

Don't cry.

He looked at me unamused before pulling my hair harder. I don't want to cry in front of him.

Not right now.

I know the power it gives him. He feeds off of it. I know that.

"Go upstairs." He ordered pushing me away harshly. I groaned lightly when my back hit the front door.

I didn't wait a second and quickly ran upstairs. I walked in our bedroom before taking my heels off and sat on the bed.

I placed my hand on my chest trying to calm my beating heart and my breathing. My hands started shaking again and fear took over my body with each step I heard him take in the hallway.

He is going to be here soon.

The bedroom door slammed open and I quickly turned to face him. He closed the door slowly looking at me.

"Take your dress off." He ordered and my body tensed even more and I started feeling light headed as I slowly stood up to move further away.

"Please. I'm sorry." I pleaded as a sob escaped me and just realized how hard I was shaking.

I let out another sob when he suddenly took quick steps toward me, making me immediately regret not listening. He roughly grabbed my arms slamming me against the wall.

"You do as I fucking say." He growled.

"I am your wife." I said looking at him with watery eyes. "I... I am trying my best. I want us to work and I want us both to be happy. W... Why do you keep doing this?" I said and I cried when he backhanded me.

"Don't tell me what to do". He snapped taking a hold of my dress.

Next thing I heard was a ripping sound as he started tearing the material of my dress and I let him.

I am tired.

He pushed me on the bed and started taking his clothes off and I lead there not moving, finding a place in my mind that I could go to, so I wouldn't feel any pain.

I felt his weight on me and I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block his voice, his touch.

Block him.

"So beautiful." He said huskily. "You're so perfect." His lips moved to breast as he took my nipple in his mouth. "So soft. You were made just for me, baby."

He groaned again twirling his tongue around my bud while moving his hands to my hips, and I closed my eyes tighter.

Stop. Please! My mind screamed but I couldn't find the voice anymore.

So, I let him use me, as he always did.

"I'll always be there for you, princess." I let my body relax as my father's voice came to mind. "No matter what, mommy and I love you so much. And Christine."

"Make him happy, Maya." My mother's voice came as usual to push away my positive thoughts.

What is happiness, really?

Is his all about bringing me pain and misery?