The What Ifs of Unrequited Love | #ToAllTheBoysContest

My Entry

Dear Boy I Love,

What if?

Six letters, two words. Very dangerous thing to ponder on. I sat in my room just thinking infinite thoughts that began with what if. It's amazing to think that those two words could hold so much possibly in them.

What if we could fly? What if the sun exploded? What if magic existed?

Or even the question that I lie awake at night thinking to myself: What if I told you I love you?

I couldn't tell you why or how, but I could tell you that whenever you're around, my heart skips an extra beat just for you and that a kaleidoscope of butterflies enter my stomach.

Maybe it was your bluish grey eyes covered by those big glasses of yours that intrigued me so much. The way they held mystery, one that I wanted to figure out. Or maybe it was the way you ran your fingers through your honey brown hair when you were nervous during a test even though you knew you were going to pass. Or possible your one-dimpled crooked grin that you are always flashing at everyone.

Or perhaps it was the way I could talk to you about anything —books, music, the problems in my life. Anything.

All I know is I fell really hard, but you weren't there to catch me. Because you were with her.

And as much as it hurts for me, I'm happy for you because you deserve to be happy and I can tell that she makes you smile in a way that I never could.

So instead I'm just standing back, holed up in my room writing this letter while you're out on a romantic date with her.

All I want is to tell you so I don't spend my entire life wondering infinite thoughts that all began with 'what if?'

What if I wasn't your best friend? What if I had told you how I felt before you had met her? What if I told you by giving you this letter right now?

Maybe if I told you, it would be me in your arms. And it would be me who got to kiss you everyday and tell you how much you mean to me. And I would be the one you looked at with so much love.

If only I had told you then, maybe we'd be together now.

But I can't tell you because I love you. And if we can't be together romantically, I'll be happy to have you in my life platonically because it's better than not being with you at all.

I guess I'll just have to spend my whole life wondering what if.

With lots of love,
Your friend