Take Me Back (SSG#2)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 "keep going"

"Three month rule? Hindi sa lahat nag-aapply 'yan. Sa'yo pa mismo galing 'yan dati, right?"

Why do I have to surround myself with such honest human beings right now? Like seriously? I'm broken. My heart's been shatterd at wala akong mapanghingan ng sympathy kasi mas kinakampihan pa nila 'yong ex ko kaysa sa akin. Aren't I part of their family? Hello! I'm their cousin.

I get it naman. May mali ako pero hindi tama na parang ginagawa nila na ako may kasalanan ng lahat. May mali rin naman siya. Mas malala pa nga ata iyong kanya pero bakit parang ako pa 'yong sobrang sama?

"She's courting her..."

Why are they doing this? Why do they have to hurt me more?

I closed my eyes to stop my tears. Self infliction na ba'to? Ang sakit na mapakinggan na may kasama siyang ibang babae pagkatapos ng isang buwan na nagbreak kami pero mas masakit pa rin pala na marinig na may nililigawan na siyang iba. Is it really easy to throw 'us'? Ni sana ipinakita niya man lang sa akin na sa tatlong buwan nasasaktan pa rin siya. Para mas magaan sa pakiramdam at hindi iyong wala pang tatlong buwan nakahanap na siya ng ibang ipapalit sa akin.

I don't question his love for me. Alam kong minahal niya ako no'ng kami pa. I understand if he finds another woman kasi alam kong may mali rin ako kaya kami naghiwalay but those thoughts, even if you understand, doesn't soothe what's inside your chest. Masakit pa rin. My love was blinding me to understand it fully in order to move on. Mahal ko siya kaya inaayaw kong intindihin ang dapat. I know it's unfair but I love him and I want him back. I want us back kahit na napakaimposible na.

"I want to be alone." I mumbled to them. I want to sleep just so I can escape. I've been trying my best to be busy all the time para hindi ko siya maisip pero hindi ko magawa, I love him so much, na makikita ko na lang ang sarili kong tulala at inaalala lahat. I want to drink but I don't want to get hangovers afyer kaya 'wag na lang.

"Stop torturing yourself, Lilie. There's still other guys out there--"

"Don't talk about boys, Ate Alcian. We both know you lack experience on that topic." I answered immidiately, irritated.

"You act like your brother now." She counter attack.

"And you act like him as well, bet this thing runs in our blood." I covered myself with my sheets. "Just give me time... I want to be alone." Just please.

Ayokong makita na naman nila akong umiiyak.

I tried to sleep and great I did. Pero pagbuklat ng mata ko wala akong ibang ginawa kung hindi ang bumalik sa mga araw na masaya pa kami.

I wiped my tears and covered myself under my sheet. So this is how I will end my vacation, crying and putting my dramas.

If I can only stay in my bed forever then I'll stay but real life's just can't be set aside.

"Oh shit!"

I rolled my eyes when I almost bumped my brother. Gosh! Hindi ba pwedeng time out din muna sa kanya? I had enough stress lately tapus makikita ko pa siya.

"What?" pataray na sagot ko at humalukipkip sa kanya.

"Your face." He pointed my face.

I haven't looked at the mirror yet kaya naalarma ako.

"What happened?" I asked. Kinapa ko lahat ng parte ng mukha ko.

"Still ugly." Sagot niya at nilagpasan na ako.

Huminga ako ng malalim at humalukipkip na hinarap siya. Seriously? Is this really his thing? To keep me annoyed everytime? I wish si Kuya Raeb o kuya Pearl na lang ang naging kuya ko. Nakakabwiset siya! Wala siyang ibang ginawa kung hindi bwisitin ako araw-araw.