Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Entry 12 - It Can't All Be Fun and Games

He obviously hadn't been surprised by Elliot's manner towards him, but I could tell that Elliot was shocked to get a civil answer. I had a feeling that a lot had been said between these brothers to make them this way.

"Okay, sounds good." I told him, and he nodded. He looked like he was about to walk away, but hesitated.

"Listen, Elliot. Walter told me about everything that's going on, and I want you to know that I'm sorry. I never expected this to actually happen."

"Like hell you are! I seem to remember that you told dad a while back that this would be a good idea."

I had been looking back and forth between them, but my gaze froze on Thomas. He idea that he had agreed with his father on this was disgusting.

"I said that I thought it could be a way out, if there were no other options. Our kingdoms are dangerously close to war, and this appears to be the only way to stop it. I'm truly sorry, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good of your country. That's part of being a member of the royal family."

I felt out of place, knowing that he was talking about the sacrifice of marrying me, and I wanted desperately to leave them to it, but part of me knew that I needed to stay.

"Don't sound all righteous with me!" Elliot snapped. "Your 'sacrifice' hardly compares with this. You think marrying Alex will be anything like marrying this overbearing, middle aged man? At least you have control of it all, and can do what you want, but I will be completely at his mercy! And just because you had a fancy for some girl doesn't make your sob story any worse."

Up until now, Thomas had remained calm even when Elliot yelled, but his last sentence struck a nerve.

"Just because I don't go whining about it to everyone," his voice was low and controlled. "Doesn't mean I don't feel things. I love Joan, and what we had was nothing like a fancy.

You know nothing of what you are saying. Nothing!" They we're face to face, anger radiating off both of them, and realized just how insignificant I was compared to them. Elliot may be shorter, but he was no small man, and I could almost feel a fight in the air.

"And I know that you and your boyfriend think you are so madly in love, but that's just a childish infatuation. You have no idea what love means! You call three years of love and commitment a fancy, and somehow think your year of fooling around is in anyway comparable."

"You wouldn't know love if it slapped you in the face! Nothing gets to you, Thomas. Even if I have only been with Alan for a year, at least I show emotions and act like I give a damn!"

"Oh because you would know if i showed emotions and acted like I cared about Joan."

"You're the one who has constantly pushed me away! If I don't know anything about you, it's your fucking fault! You've probably said every hateful thing thats come into your mind to me, and now you act like you care!"

"I was trying to change that."

"Well it's too late. Why don't you just fuck off? Now one wants you here!"

Elliot looked furious. Perhaps the stress the last few weeks had finally gotten to him, because I'd never seen him this mad. Sure, I barely knew him, but anyone who knew him at all, knew that he was soft spoken.

I'm not really sure what would have happened next if it weren't for Alan poking his head around the corner.

"Elliot? I didn't know you were back." Elliot's back was facing him, so he couldn't see his face. The anger drained from it, replaced by a sadness that it hurt to see. I felt like an intruder on a scene that I should never have been part of.

Thomas noticed the change in his face, and looked between them with something like pity in his eyes.

"I just got back." His voice was tight.

"What's going on? I heard shouting." He looked between the two brothers, who now stood rather awkwardly by each other.

"It's nothing, Alan. I was just coming to see you. I'll be there in a minute." Alan heard the dismissal in his tone, and tried to get a look at his face. Elliot remained standing the way he was, and Alan frowned.

"Alright, well, I'll just go wait for you then." His footsteps padded softly away, and Elliot let out a heavy sigh.

"He will understand." The gentleness of his tone surprised me. "Just tell him exactly why is expected of you, and he will understand. He's known this would happen for a long time."

Elliot nodded. "I know he will. It's just the actual saying of it that hurts the most."

All of their anger seemed to have left, replaced with a strange understanding. I think they both knew that the other was going through almost the same thing as them, and that drew them closer.

"Tell him to try the country. That's what their all doing these days." Elliot looked at him, a funny expression in his eyes.

"You know, you've changed a lot in the last few months. I'm sorry about what I said about Joan. I know you guys really did love each other." Thomas jaw clenched, but not in anger, and i think it just then dawned on me how hopeless my infatuation with him was.

"Thanks you, and sorry about...well, everything. I really am trying to not be such a dick."

"We'll let you know whenever you are." Elliot grinned, and turned to walk back down the hall.

I watched him go, a frown on my face.

"I'm worried about him, Thomas."

"So am I. But he has to make this work. Our relationship with that country is far more dangerous than even he knows. A full out war with them would be disastrous."

"Still, it hurts to see them torn away from each other like that." Thomas looked down at me.

"Yes, it is. That sort of thing is never easy." His eyes showed a pain that his carefree voice tried so desperately to conceal. His heart was broken, and I was the reason it could never be mended.

A part of him must have resented me. Part of him must have hated the sight of me. His heart belonged to someone he was forced to leave.

I told myself all of this. I was constantly reminding myself that this was all arranged, and only caused him pain. I knew this could never be anything more than it was now.

So why was I still falling for him?