KENYAN HISTORY AND ITS VILLAINS

Most Eccentric Kenyan Politicians

The thin line between eccentricity and insanity is riddled with money, and power, and political office, all of which Kenyan politicians have. In fact, if you the common Wanjiku were to try some of the eccentricities here, there would be a 'Get Wanjiku to Mathari Hospital Campaign.'

#7 Kamwithi Munyi

In an age that was characterized by sychophancy and national asskissing to win favor with the big man it is hard for anyone to stand out, but this man did. Everyone was 'toeing the line' which is just euphemism for kissing the man who lived in the house on the hill's ass.?Kamwithi Munyi would wear "... two wristwatches lest he missed a presidential function, nodded at every word the president uttered as he judiciously took notes

Thats it, Munyi wore two watches because he didn't trust either to be correct. He believed in The Synergy of Many Watches and the ancient art of asskissing [citation needed] Or perhaps no one told him about Segals Law "A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

People wear two watches for different reasons, the more apparent of which is stupidity.

#6 Dixon Kihika Kimani

Where Peter Oloo Aringo was the court poet, Dixon Kihika Kimani was the court jester and he owned that with unmatched awesomeness.

Most of his quips were in vernacular but the meaning cannot be lost to anyone.

He holds the record for being the only man to ever represent three different constituencies. You would think disappointing three different electorates would qualify one for the list but this man did more, or rather sad more.

When a Nakuru trader, Mbugua, expressed interest in a car he was selling, he laughed off the whole idea and told him in Kikuyu: "Ukwenda gakari gaka nduire thuragiria? (You want this car, in which I have been farting?)" Well, that is not exactly a sales pitch, sir.

Interviewer (when he saw the 70-year old Kihika with a 6-month old boy): "Ona gaka no gaku mutongoria? (You have fathered this one, too, mheshimiwa?)

Kihika: "Tondu niwe undeithitie gugaciara?" (Have I asked forhelp from you on that matter?).

"Hata sasa nikitaka naweza kuchukua wanawake tatu, nne, niende nao kwangu kwa sababu nina mali (Even now, I can take away three or four womenand marry them off because I have wealth)," he would say.

He was elected in three different constituencies, a fete no one has achieved before or after him. He is also famous for having his six wives run in different constituencies, giving new meaning to the art of spreading your luck.

# 5 C M Njonjo and his pinstripe

Meet Sir Charles M. Njonjo, the Duke of Kabeteshire. Njonjo is almost always seen Clad in his trademark three-piece custom-made pinstripe (with his initials "CN") suits with a watch on a golden chain dangling down his neck.

He is a man who is known for his British mannerisms, although we cannot confirm whether this is as cool as having a British accent (which has been scientifically proven to increase ones chances of getting laid exponentially). Njonjo is credited with giving us Kenya's Machiavellian prince, also known as the giraffe of Kenyan politics, and hence triggering events whose effects we are still seeing now. If kids do not get their free laptops.in the next six months, you know who to blame now.

Everyone knew Sir Charles was stylish and more obsessed over his pinstripes than the government he was supposed to be advising on legal matters. The truth about the pinstripes, was captured in the Miller Inquiry when so many snitching on the man that it held the record until Michael Vick was tried for holding dog fights [citation needed].