REDEMPTION | MAFIA ROMANCE | SMUT

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I do, however, miss my mother. She loved us so much. I never found out if she survived or not, but I am old enough to know better and understand. I think she was dead before we even left that day.

Alexa cries for our mother. She asked me once if we will ever see her again. I did not wish to upset her, so I lied to my baby sister, wanting to protect her.

Unfortunately, as it is forbidden, I seldom spend any time with Alexa. Sometimes, he allows me downstairs so that I can spend the afternoon with her. Alexa loves it when I visit. We craft together and create colourful paintings to hang along her wall, adding a little sunshine to the darkness.

We often tell each other stories and, from time to time, we sing together.

I am sad when I leave her.

Alexa has always been scared of the dark, and that thought stops me from sleeping at night.

I know she is sad.

I know she is scared.

I am sorry, Alexa.

I wish I could protect you.

Kathy.

When I questioned Kathy about our dad, she'd instantly shut me down. Apparently, she remembered nothing. I don't know why she had so much resentment towards him; I wish I did.

Her thoughts were correct. I was terrified back then. I hated sleeping alone in that cold basement; however, she was wrong to believe the darkness scared me. I welcomed the dark just as long as he never visited.

Dear Diary,

It is beautiful here, not all bad. The house is not like our mother's, but the warm colours and spacious rooms are maze-like and fun to investigate. When the sun comes up, I sit on the back steps to write, feel the warm rays on my face and sunbathe after breakfast.

Yesterday, I made a cake. The final piece was shocking, but I gave myself a thumbs up for the effort. Plus, it tasted better than it looked.

For a long while, I requested to see my sister, and he reprimanded me. I missed her and wanted to be sure she was okay. After a few weeks, though, the pain eased, and I did not feel the need to visit Alexa anymore.

Is it wrong that the torture I once felt about our separation did not hurt anymore?

I heard him talking recently, telling his friend that Alexa would not behave. I shook my head at that. If only Alexa would be more compliant. If only she would concede and listen, then she could have more freedom—like me.

I do not feel sorry for my sister anymore. Her troubling behaviour concerns me.

I am afraid there is not much more I can do for her.

I am sorry, Alexa.

Kathy.

Why would Kathy want me to act accordingly? That man took us—he stole us from our mother. Furthermore, I was a terrified child. I didn't have the sense or mature understanding to play those disgusting men at their own game. I merely mustered enough strength to finish those unpalatable meals they rarely tossed my way.

Dear Diary,

Alexa keeps crying. The sobs irritate me. I stand outside her door with my fingers on the handle. I contemplated breaking the rules by visiting her or walking away.

Alexa called my name.

Alexa called His name.

Then she sang that song. The one our mother would sing when we were little. For a fleeting second, it had hit a nerve, but I shrugged it off and refused to be fooled.