Bringing Her (BH Bk. 1) COMPLETED

Ch. 11 - All or nothing (edited)

Cause I want it all or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
when you reach the bottom
it's now or never...
Is it all or are we just friends?
Is this how it ends?

---------------------------------

Casey

I've been locking myself for almost two days now. Jack attempted to ruin the door but once he heard me growl low and deadly, he knew better than to insist.

Everybody tried to talk to me, reach out for me, but I just don't give a fuck anymore.

Each hour I spend with myself helps me understand better what I get myself into. I have slowly manage to brainwash myself to possible conclusions.

I need to atleast stand up for myself and get over this once and for all.

Out of all the people, why does it have to be Lily? She tried talking to me but everytime she tries, it's like she's giving me her death wish.

My father has been the only one I allowed to enter. He doesn't say a thing. He'll just lay beside me and hug me.

I've been crying my heart out. My silent sobs, my wrecking heart ache and my moment alone with myself only make things worst. I can't continue like this. I need to preserve my dignity. It's the least I could do.

The next morning, I took a long cold bath. I slipped off my a backless bloody red dress, matching a 5 inch heels of the same color. I gave my eyes some smokey effect. I'm not a fan of heavy colored lipsticks so I go with lip tints.

I applied the concealer perfectly. I gave myself a weak smile. I can face them. I don't know what to expect but one thing is for sure, I'll be careful with my emotions. I won't let them think they managed to ruin me deep.

I know I can't blame anybody but myself so this is me, fixing a mistake. I need to show up and pretend to be fine.

I know I can, and I know I will be fine. After all, everybody has their mates. Fortunately for Jack, he met his. I will meet mine in Goddess' perfect time.

After spraying my floral perfume, I left the room and only to be cornered by Jack. I glared at him when I could smell Lily all over him. A fucking dicktard!

"Hey, C..."

I give him a brief smile. "Alpha..."

"What's with the formalities??"

"Things change, right?"

He scratched the back of his neck."Look, I-------

"Jack, seriously... I need you to step aside. I need to go."

"Where to??"

"Nania ... Nania business."

He shook his head. "Very mature."

I smiled sarcastically. "Look who's talking..."

He let out a deep breath. "I know I've hurt you-------

"Jack, I don't need to hear your-----

"You have to hear me out, C. It wasn't me."

"Okay."

He glared at me. "Don't put all the blame on me. You are the one who bring her here."

I smiled at him bitterly. "Yeah. Now, are you happy? Free of guilt? Cause if you are, then step aside, I need to leave."

"I'm trying my best to fight it. Just give me time. It's not that easy."

"I'm giving you all the time in the world, Jack. But not to fight the pull but to leave me alone."

His eyes narrowed into slits. "Are you giving up on me now?"

"You smelt sex and sweat. Atleast take a bath first."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Bear with me, please. I'm trying, okay? I will fulfill my promises to you."

"It's pointless."

"Don't let your jealousy cloud your better judgment, C. I'm trying my beSt here. Please don't condemn me by the things I didn't do intentionally."

"I am not, Jack. Stop blaming me. But if you want to feel guilt free, than blame me right inside your sick head. Stop pointing fingers at me and stay the fuck away from me. I need to find my mate."

He looked at me from head to toe. "You'll go find him wearing only that. You must be that desperate."

I slapped him. "Stop being so immature and insensitive unless you're in my shoes! How would you feel if what happened yesterday happened in reverse?? How would you feel being slapped by the face with the broken promises you said since childhood? You don't get to judge me because you're an asshole."

He was about to answer me when suddenly we heard someone calling after him.

"Jack! I woke up and you're gone." Lily called out to him, clearly pouting.

I can't help but to roll my eyes. I don't see her as my own family anymore. I know I sounded like a bitch now but who the fuck cares??! I'm done!

As of Jack, he didn't even bother to look at her way or apologize. His eyes are focused on mine.

I killed immediately the happiness I felt when he did so. There's no reason to. I shouldn't forget the fuck that he spend the night with her. Probably fucking her brains out.

But they are mates.

That is natural.

It's in their instincts.

And I should start forgiving Jack.

I pushed him, not bothering to glance at the woman who called after him.

I did my best to walk faster. I am not a masochist, and I don't plan to be. If he wanted her, then he can have her.