Just Once

Prologue

Author's has something to say:

English is not my first language.

Enjoy.

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Prologue

Evan was reminiscing as he gaze outside the window near his hospital bed. The sun was almost setting but his gaze never wander.

Evan was 80 this year. The doctors hypothesized that he may die at any time. May it be today or tomorrow. Ah old age he thought.

Evan hadn't really thought anything about it. He didn't care. He was alone and he wasn't leaving any descendants behind. He never married. Maybe a few friends, few relatives and neighbors might cry at his funeral but he's sure they'll get over him soon.

As he was thinking he suddenly heard voices of children laughing outside his room. Hearing them playing he suddenly remembered the memory he thought he had long been forgotten.

Vanesse. At the thought of her name Evan felt a jolt in his heart, he closed his already misty eyes and remembered.

Since his and her family were best friends, they as children as expected became best friends too. Because of their parents friendship, even before they were born they arranged their children to marry each other at their marriageable age.

But Evan at that time thought himself gay.

When Evan was four he knew they had an arrange marriage but didn't understand it at first as he was so young back then and thought it was the same as their parents, as bestfriends and so he accepted it.

When he was seven and Vanesse six Vanesse always wanted to cling on him and says, "Evan, stop acting like your mom. Mom said you have to marry me when we get older."

At that time I said,
"I don't want to marry a girl."

When I was ten she reminded me again and again.
"Evan, stop trying my clothes try to be manly, you still have to marry me."
"As if" was my usual answer. And yet she remained my friend.

When I was fifteen it finally dawn on me that I was to marry. And so I had avoided her like a plague and keeps giving her reasons to not meet her. I was planning of breaking the arrange marriage. I believed I need to.

At 17, I wore girly clothes. She stayed and so we were still friends.

But one time she said almost pleading me, "Evan...Don't be a girl. You still have to marry me."

When she said those words I feel like she faked being my friend and just stayed with me because she wanted to marry me.

I was very angry. At that time I was filled with angry thoughts so I shouted what first came in my mind.
"I'm never marrying a girl! Especially you! "

Because I was so caught up with my thoughts. I didn't notice her redden eyes as she bit bit her lips and forced the word,
"okay."

On my nineteenth birthday was our supposed Pamamanhikan.

When she suddenly called my name.
"Evan." I instinctively tensed up and look at her because she only called me by my name when she repeatedly told me we were to marry. Her flinching barely noticeable.

I listened as she continued. And I was shocked with her next words.
"You're free. I already found someone I want to marry."

and she walked out along with the rest of her family.

I can hardly processed her words because I blank out. I was stunned. I was confused.

I was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to jump from joy. But I can't even found even a trace of happiness in my heart.

I realized.. my bestfriend is gone. The one who knows me the most is gone. The one who loves me even though I was gay. The one who selflessly stayed even after pushing her away every time.

A year after.

After a year of not seeing each other I realized I.. hadn't worn the girly clothes we bought together. I realized I didn't actually liked boys. I liked her.

That I.. actually needed her.

I miss her.

That's when I decided to change and strive to be a man worthy of her.

But then. A year after. I received news of her death.

By the time I woke up from reality. It was already too late.

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Author has something to say:

Pamamanhikan is when both sides are willing to start a family and planning the wedding.

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