she | rilaya

chapter five;

riley matthews

i have no clue why i invited maya over to help babysit. i wasn't the best with kids, but i can handle my brother for a couple hours. i just wanted her around. i knew this attraction was turning into a hopeless crush, and i was letting myself fall for her. i told myself to move on, because i knew not to crush on a straight girl, but something about her couldn't keep me away.

"auggie should be here any minute," i said to maya, leading her into the living room. "watch whatever you want," i nodded at the tv. "i always have a snack ready for him when he comes home." she plopped down on the couch and started flipping through channels as i grabbed cookies from the pantry.

"oh my god! total drama island! this was my childhood!" maya yelled from the living room, while familiar voices talked in the background. "gwen was always my favorite."

"gwen's totally a lesbian," i declared, putting cookies on a plate and sitting right beside maya.

"no way! she dated that one guitar dude," maya argued, taking a bite out of a cookie.

"compulsory heterosexuality." i stated.

"who knew you had such a big vocabulary?" she joked before adding, "what the fuck does that mean?"

"well, she dated guys because it's a social norm. she felt like she had to. but she's totally in love with courtney. i remember identifying with her as a kid," i explained, remembering the time when i had first watched the show. i had been at least ten, and i had a crush on a girl in my fourth grade class. watching gwen give courtney those flowers helped me figure myself out.

"i guess," maya replied, giving up. suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"riley!" auggie shouted, running in and jumping on me, in what he thought was a hug but was surprising painful. he was eight, but he was small for his age, so i could carry him in my arms easily.

"hi, auggie. how was school?" i asked, kissing his head. i set him down beside us on the couch and glanced over at my mom, who was already leaving.

"boring. i missed you," he answered, turning towards the tv, becoming absorbed with the show.

"remember when you said you were bad with kids? you were so lying," maya said, nudging me with her arm.

"maybe i just wanted you to come over," i replied. it came out flirty, and i made a mental note to yell at myself later. i couldn't do this. maya was straight. she had rejected me once before, so it was clear she only wanted to be friends, if we even were friends at all.

"smooth, matthews." maya teased. then she turned towards auggie and cleared her throat. he looked over, a nervous look on his face. "i'm maya. you don't have to be scared of me. i'm here to help riley watch you, and i think that job includes board games, maybe? please say yes. i haven't played one since i was ten." she talked to him like he was a friend, like they hadn't just met two minutes ago. it was adorable.

"yeah! can we do puzzles too?" auggie was practically jumping up and down with excitement. i played games and puzzles with him occasionally, but ever since my first attempt, my mom limited my time around him. she had a meeting today, so she was forced to leave him with me, but i knew she hated it. 

"of course," maya replied. "riley's playing too, right?" she glanced at me, and i nodded. "cool," she added. "go pick some out, auggie. get some good ones." auggie nodded, and ran down the hall. i walked over to maya and playfully hit her shoulder.

"you're so good with him. by the end of the night, i bet he'll want you as a sibling instead of me," i joked. she laughed, shaking her head to deny it. "for real. you're awesome."

"well, i guess i've always wanted a little sibling. it's always been an impossible dream. can't really have a baby brother without a dad." she was playing along with my joke, but i knew something was off. she was upset. before i could ask her, auggie came running in, holding a pile of board games taller than him.

maya hart

i can't believe i mentioned my dad to her. the year it happened, i promised i would never tell anyone. knowing the students at my school, if anyone found out, i would be cast out. i just felt like i could tell riley anything. i just wanted to sit and talk to her forever, about anything and everything. auggie interrupted my thoughts, and after that i was playing game after game, until it was time for him to go to bed.

it was sad to say that playing games with riley and her little brother was the most fun i had had in a while. auggie was adorable, and riley was too. i caught myself watching her, noticing the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed. it gave me this feeling in my stomach, a really good nervous kind of feeling. it made me feel warm inside.

after auggie fell asleep, we both flopped down on riley's bed. she turned to me and smiled, and i couldn't help but smile back immediately.

"i'm so exhausted. that was fun, don't get me wrong, but i'm so tired," i groaned, yawning. i turned to face her and closed my eyes, snuggling into the blankets beneath me.

"me too. you can stay over if you want. i probably have clothes that you could wear, but i mean, only if you want to," she rambled, and i laughed. "what?" she asked. i opened my eyes and saw her expression of utter confusion, and that made me laugh more.

"you're so adorable. of course i'll stay over. i just spent six hours playing board games with your little brother. if i didn't want to be here i would've left a long time ago," i explained. i felt an urge to pull her close to me, to just hold her. it was such a weird urge, completely out of nowhere, and it surprised me. did i like riley?

i tried to think. she affected my mood more than any other person, making me happy two seconds after i feel like complete shit. i loved her giggle, and the way she blushed when she said something flirty, as if she didn't expect herself to say it out loud. i loved the way she was around auggie, and my heart lept when she accidentally called our plans a date. and i couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. that kiss felt like a million years ago, even though it had only been a couple days. days ago i still thought riley matthews was some weird emo kid, like the rest of the school, but now i knew the real riley matthews. and i liked her. i really liked her.