she | rilaya

chapter two;

maya hart

"it was pathetic. you should've seen her. she was going to kill herself," i said to lucas, sitting down in my seat for history.

"probably did, the freak," lucas added laughing. he nodded to her desk, which was empty. she hadn't shown up to school, but no one really cared. especially not me.

the bell rang, and lucas headed to his seat. i didn't want to tell him about the kiss. he probably would've peed himself laughing. i shook away my thoughts and focused on the doodles i was making in my notebook, ignoring mr. matthews completely.

--

by the time school ended, there was still no sign of riley. it scared me. did she actually kill herself? was i the last person who saw her? i wanted to make sure she was okay, however strange the urge was. i knew where mr. matthews house was, because i'd egged it multiple times with some of lucas's friends. i lied to lucas, saying i had to pick up some stuff at the store for my mom, and headed over to riley's building.

i really didn't want to have to face mr. matthews, or whoever riley's mom was, so i decided to climb up the fire escape, just to check if anyone was home. when i got to the window, it looked straight into riley's room. she was sitting at the bay window. she wasn't dead. that was a relief. i told myself that it was okay, and now, i could go home, but then i knocked.

"hey there, freak," i greeted, as she opened the window. her brown hair was up in a messy bun, and she looked like she just got out of bed. she didn't look tired though, just a messy kind of pretty.

"why are you here?" she asked. it was a good question. a question i didn't know the answer to.

--

riley matthews

i wanted to die. i truly did. not like those 'emo' kids who say they're depressed for attention, or joked about suicide to fit in. i craved death. i believed it would be better if the world didn't have someone like me in it.

i was the joke of the school. everyone either ignored me, or pushed me around. their insults just added to the chorus in my head. i was an ugly, fat, freak. i wasn't normal, liking girls the way i was supposed to like boys. people reminded me of that every single day. the one day i wanted to finally put an end to it all, maya hart had to step in. you know you suck as a human being if you fail at killing yourself twice. especially because of maya hart.

maya. everything about her was perfect. she was beautiful, had an amazing singing voice, was the best artist at our school, and she had a sweet boyfriend. i just knew there was more to her. i wanted to figure her out, but i couldn't. she probably hated me just as much as the rest of the school did.

"why are you here?" i asked, watching as she sat there like this wasn't strange. she was wearing tight jean shorts and a low cut top, and i couldn't help but stare. i didn't want to be attracted to her, because she obviously didn't like me, but i couldn't help myself. she was hot, and she was sitting next to me at my bay window.

she looked puzzled as she answered. "well... i really dont know."

"so. are you going to make fun of me? are you going to tell the school how riley, the freak, kissed you? go ahead, i bet everyone would love that," i dont know why i was feeling so brave yesterday. today, i was just mad. what made her think that she could just sit here in my bay window, looking gorgeous.

"i haven't told anyone. i'm not heartless. get it? hart-less?" she giggled at her own joke, but cleared her throat once she realized i wasn't laughing. "look, i wanted to make sure you weren't dead. how horrible of me, i know. i guess i'll just go," i just stared at her as she left, climbing out of my window. i wanted to apologize, but i couldn't get the words out. all i could do was watch her leave.

--

i went to school the next day, even though i'd rather do anything else. my dad was already mad about how much i skipped, and was dropping my grade little by little every time i missed. i didn't know if it was legal, but it worked.

even before i walked in the doors, i knew all the kids would be talking about my absence yesterday. they'd say that i was in my room, cutting my wrists, listening to my chemical romance. i was right. teenagers were predictable and stupid.

i sat down in my dad's class, slumping down in my seat and staring up at the words written on the board. normally, they had an obvious connection to my life. i didn't see how this mattered. the board just said 'change'.

"good morning, class. today, i'm going to make some changes. before you groan, change is important. without it, we wouldn't grow as people. we wouldn't accomplish anything. i'm going to give you all a new seating chart, as my first change to this class. i put two people who are different together, for a change but also because we need to stop being so immersed in our own different worlds so much that we ignore others," he placed a piece paper on the board and sat down, watching the class as we all got up to check it.

i almost got up and left the room when i saw the name next to mine. 'maya hart'. of course, because life wasn't bad enough. yes, she wasn't that horrible to me, but sitting next to her would be extremely awkward because of the past two days. ever since the kiss, i've thought about her so much. her body, her eyes, her perfectly pink lips. i reminded myself that she was straight, and trudged to my new desk and plopped down.

"hey there, freak. don't look so sad. you love me and you know it," she teased, scribbling in her notebook. she was drawing a flower. it looked like a rose, but i didn't know much about nature. i silently watched as she drew and colored it in with some pencils in her bag. by the end of class, she had finished her rose and i hadn't paid attention to a word my dad had said.

the bell rang, and i was still staring at her rose. it was just so interesting to watch her draw. she was just so into it. she glanced up at me, catching me staring, and smirked.

"do you want it?" maya asked, nudging the paper towards me. i stuttered, blushing like crazy. "for real. i have a million of them already, you can keep it," she smiled at me, her blue eyes twinkling. it was a real, genuine smile and it melted my insides.

"thank you," i whispered, as she grabbed her stuff and walked away. she looked back at the doorway, met my eyes, and then ducked into the hallway. i sighed, staring down at the paper on the table. she had left a little note on the drawing.

'you're not that bad, riley'. i held the paper to my chest. my dad looked curiously at me from his desk. i smiled so wide all day it hurt.