Chapter 2

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*2 weeks after Logan's Funeral*

It had been two weeks since I said my final goodbye to Logan. Two weeks since they had lowered his body into the cold ground. Two weeks since I had been happy about this baby. Now more than ever I wanted to give it up. The grief, the memories were too much.

I couldn't share these thoughts with Niall, he'd only try and talk me out of it. Only this time, there was no going back.

We were in California packing up our bags. We would finally be going back to London. Of course, we would be making stops at each of the boy's family's homes. Instead of their usual visits home, we would be going as a group, which included me.

I was back to being the only girl, Danielle went home a few days. Eleanor had visited for a few days and so had Perrie, along with her band Little Mix.

I was lying on my bed when I decided to make the international phone call from the hotel.

"London University Hospital. How may I help you?" the female receptionist greeted.

"Hello. I was wondering if I could schedule for an appointment for⦠um⦠an abortion." I said uneasily into the phone.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked me.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"How far along in the pregnancy are you?" the woman questioned.

"I'm about five months," I answered.

"You're really pushing this, time wise I mean. Now sweetheart, I have to ask you a few questions, alright?" the voice from the other end of the phone said.

"Ok," I answered. I had to do this, but deep in my heart I knew it was wrong. I knew I needed to have this baby. This was the exact reason I had avoided Niall for two weeks. I didn't want to be talked out of the abortion.

"Ok honey. I just need your name and age. Also, does the father of the child know that you are scheduling an appointment?" the lady asked, her voice full of curiosity.

"My name is Rhiannon Ricci. I'm twenty. And the father is.. Deceased," I informed her, whilst choking on my words.

"Rhiannon, honey, I want you do something for me. Think this over , make sure this is really what you want, ok? And then call back and schedule," she told me. I nodded first, not realizing she couldn't see me.

"Ok," I mumbled. She said good bye and hung up. I threw my phone onto the half packed suitcase and buried my head in my pillow. The tears instantly began streaming down my face.

I looked up when I heard the door open. It was Zayn, holding a pack of cigarettes.

"That's a nasty habit," I told him in-between tears.

"What happened?" Zayn asked me, changing the subject. I didn't answer him; I just put my head back on the pillow.

"Do you want me to get Niall?" Zayn questioned. I shook my head and held my arms out, like a young child asking to be picked up. Zayn complied and sat on the bed with me, tossing the cigarettes on my nightstand.

Zayn had been a close friend since the beginning, since Liam. I could trust him, I was sure of that, but there was always a chance he would tell Niall or Liam.

In the end, I took a chance. I told Zayn everything, from my breakup with Liam to the Skyping with Niall to my decision of abortion.

Zayn sat quiet for a few minutes before giving me yet another round of amazing advice. No sarcasm intended.

"Tell Niall," Zayn told me. "He needs to know. He can help you."

"I don't need help!" I protested.

"Yes you do! You think you can do this all on your own, but you just can't Rhi! An abortion is a huge deal. Just think about the regrets down the line," Zayn said.

"I don't regret wanting to kill this baby," I said harshly.

I didn't count on the reaction I would get. I expected a reaction from Zayn of course, but I definitely didn't expect one from the curly haired boy who had been eavesdropping on our conversation.

__

Zayn quickly got up and pulled Harry up from the ground, grabbing his collar.

"How much did you hear?" Zayn asked him. I could see fear gleaming in Harry's eyes. Zayn was never like this, no one had seen this side of him. He was highly protective of those he cared about; the evidence was in front of me.

"All of it, I swear I won't tell Niall," Harry promised me.

"Tell me what?" an angry voice asked from the hallway. The blonde haired Irish boy pushed into the room and demanded an answer from the three of us.

"What are you hiding from me Rhiannon? What can't you tell me?" Niall demanded. I stared at the ground and put a hand on my abdomen.

Liam chose the wrong moment to come through the door clutching the phone to his chest.

"Rhiannon, it's for you. It's London University Hospital. Oh, um hold on," Liam cut himself off, putting the phone back up to his ear. "May I ask why you are calling?" Harry and Zayn tried unsuccessfully to get the phone away from Liam, but they were too late.

The phone fell from Liam's hand and landed on the floor with a crash. The dial tone was loud, signaling that the call had ended. Liam's jaw was dropped wide open and he just stared at me.

"What the hell aren't you telling me?" Niall screamed. "Rhiannon!"

"She was trying to schedule an abortion. The hospital was calling to say she's too far along in her pregnancy for one," Liam explained, finally finding his voice. The boys were all silent; obviously hurt that I hadnât talked to them and that I wanted to kill my baby. But still, not one of them could come close to the anger Niall had.

"Niall I-" I started.

"NO. JUST DON'T. Is this why you've been avoiding me since Logans funeral?" Niall demanded.

"Niall, just-" I tried.

"And here I thought, maybe you were just grieving and I should give you some space. But NO, you were planning to kill your baby all along-" Niall yelled.

"NIALL. LISTEN TO ME, I didn't tell you because"... I MISS LOGAN, OKAY? You aren't the one carrying the baby of your dead fiancee! SO stop. Just stop!" I yelled back. The other boys looked uncomfortable.

Niall started to scream something else, but Liam cut him off and dragged him out of the room. Niall tried wriggling out of Liam's grip, but Harry and Louis grabbed Niall as well. Zayn stayed with me and simply cuddled with me while I cried.

I cried for Logan, for the baby, for my fight with Niall. For the most, I cried for myself.

No one else was going to feel sorry for me. I didnât deserve it anyways.

___

It had been a week since my fight with Niall. We had gotten back to the UK and were currently spending our first week in Bradford with the Malik's. We would stay there for another week before heading to Holmes Chapel, then Doncaster, Wolverhampton, and finally to Mullingar. We were supposed to be back in London before my due date, just shy of three months away.

It had been a week since the phone call, which also meant a total of THREE weeks since I last talked to Niall. Not counting our fight of course. Do you know what it's like to go three weeks without talking to your best friend and possibly the love of your life?

I still wanted to give up the baby, but I was exactly five months and three weeks pregnant; my due date being in June.

I was exactly four months and three weeks pregnant when it happened, when I felt it, when my mind was completely changed.

When I felt the baby kick.

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