Lila's Choice

Chapter 3

The next day, shortly after I fall asleep, I have another dream about this stranger.  I wake with no memory of the dream, only knowing that it is about him and I’m left with a feeling of emptiness, as if something has been taken from me, something vital, leaving a gaping hole in my life.  But nothing has changed, my life is just as it has been for over a century.  Unsure of why this man has invaded my dreams, I decide to satisfy my curiosity by going back to the club to find him, going on my own so that I can observe him without distraction or judgement.  

I approach the club but remain hidden in the shadows.  He is nowhere to be seen.  Assuming that he has the night off, I turn back and leave, only to return the next night.  Again, there is no sign of him; the inexplicable feeling of emptiness growing stronger with each passing evening.  This sudden infatuation is so foreign to me that it is unsettling.  What is it about him that haunts me? I have come across millions of people over the years, but none have affected me in this way.  Why him? Why now?  

This goes on for weeks; my virtually stalking the club, with no sign of the beautiful stranger that occupies my dreams day after day.  I’ve even taken to going inside in case he is in there somewhere; sitting off in a corner, where I am left undisturbed by all but an occasional drunk who stumbles over looking for a place to sit.  From time to time, I snack on these stragglers, drinking enough to satisfy my hunger, but not enough to kill them.  And still, there is no sign of him.

From my vantage point in the corner, I spy several mortal couples at varying stages in their relationships.  Watching them only makes me acutely aware of how long it has been since I’ve felt anything more than tolerance for the men I take to my bed on occasion, men who are nothing more than playthings to help me pass the time.  It has been far too long since I’ve experienced the thrill of burgeoning love.

I share, what can only be described as my obsession, with Gwen.  “He’s beautiful Gwen, but there’s something more.  I can’t quite put my finger on it, but he’s taken over my dreams.  If I can just see him again, talk to him; maybe I’ll be able to understand this irrational attraction that has me going insane.” 

“Wow.  I’ve never seen you like this before.  I hope for your sake he shows up soon.” 

“So do I.”  

As time goes by without any sign of him, the dreams begin to lessen; my obsession slowly fading away.  I start going out less and less, until finally, I agree to go out with Gwen one last time before I retire from these outings altogether for a while.  This is not uncommon for me, having spent years at a time without venturing out of the complex or even my house for that matter.

“Yaaay! This is going to be fun,” Gwen claps her hands. 

I don’t quite share her enthusiasm tonight, but I try not to let it show.  “Any night out with you promises to be nothing short of interesting.”   

Unfortunately, she knows me too well.  “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you excited?  Please don’t tell me this is still about that bouncer.”  The look on Gwen’s face lets me know that she really doesn’t want to hear the answer that she suspects I have to give her.

“No, at least I don’t think so.” I say, unsure.  “This whole thing just got me thinking.  I haven’t loved anyone since Jack.  Spending almost a century without a mate can get pretty lonely.  Maybe that’s why he intrigued me so much.” I shrug my shoulders, brushing off the notion.