NEPENTHE ⟶ James Potter

Chapter Forty-Three

No one was really ever good enough for the Abate children in their parents' minds, they had expressed that numerous times, but if they had to be with someone, they would prefer someone from their school that they had grown up with.

Suddenly, at the realisation of how much the school played a role in their lives, Renata let out a small gasp, which caused James to be ready and alert. He had already been preparing himself to help Renata if she became sick because she looked fully ready to become sick to her stomach at any given second.

"What? What is it?" he asked her. "Do you feel like you're going to be sick?"

"No," Renata lied as her stomach was performing somersaults, " I was just thinking about something. Mr Potter, I must warn you, about my mother, she's...well...she's um..."

"She's not going to approve of you working for me, let alone you dating me?"

Well, that was one way to certainly put it, she thought to herself before slowly succumbing to nodding her head. Obviously, she had no control over her mother's actions, but she felt shameful having to admit such a thing. The way James had described his parents numerous times, they always came across as so lovely, accepting and inviting. In comparison to hers, Renata felt like her parents suddenly came across as demons.

She kept in mind that they were all raised differently and it wasn't fair to make such comparisons, after all, she knew that her parents loved her and Adelmo, they just had different ways of showing it.

"I'm so sorry," she told him, " it's wrong of her and I know that. But she has always-"

"Wanted to control every aspect of your being?"

The area grew quiet with Renata biting the inside of her cheek for a moment. She didn't know whether she was suddenly feeling upset because it sounded extremely harsh on James' behalf to be passing such judgment on her mother or did it really have to do with the fact that it sounded just a bit too true?

"My mother always thinks she knows what's best for us," she responded in a calm tone, "even if she's not correct all the time, she does things with good intentions. When she arrives, I will speak with her, I just don't want you to become offended or hurt by anything she says."

"So I'm not supposed to be offended by the idea that she thinks you can't make proper decisions for yourself?"

Renata thought that he was going to bring up that he should be allowed to be offended that her mother wouldn't see him as good enough, but James' focus seemed to be entirely on Renata at that point.

"I'm used to her behaviour-"

"That doesn't make it right, Ren."

James could see that Renata couldn't bring herself to argue, possibly accepting the idea that he was right, however, he could see the troubled expression on her face. It wasn't his goal to make her upset, he just wanted her to be aware that maybe the way of her parents wasn't as good or acceptable as she had made it be in her head over the years. For the Abate adults to have so much control over their children, even as Renata and Adelmo became adults, it was baffling to James. Perhaps because he had grown up in a household where he was free to be much more independent in his decision-making.

His parents allowed him to make mistakes over the years because that was how he learned. And while he had made many mistakes in his life, he was starting to realise that he didn't really regret any of them, or at least, he wasn't allowing them to hold him back anymore. He took each mistake as a learning experience and it was definitely helping him grow, even as an adult. It sounded like Renata and Adelmo were never allowed to make mistakes, that they were frightened to do so.