All my love

pink cheeks and tables

awkward. the only word I can think of to describe this situation. none of us had spoke a single word since dad had told me that he is engaged. ENGAGED! he didn't even bother to tell me or ASK  me if I was ok with it. he just went ahead and slipped a ring on her finger. I don't remember seeing the ring before I ran away with jonah so he obviously proposed while I was away.

"lets sit down"~ dad  suggested awkwardly.

silently all three of us sat down around the new table that was covered from end to end with food. Diana sat right opposite me and my dad joined her by sitting on her left leaving me alone on the other side.

we all picked up pieces of food from the table placing them in our plates. none of us even dared to speak while we ate. well they ate. I wasn't really that hungry. there were a million thoughts swirling through my head and to be honest I didn't really know what was going on. i just felt sick , too sick to eat. i need to get my thoughts straight first occasionally I picked up a grape to eat or had a small sip of water.

just when things get better THIS happens. how could he , he could at least have the decency to have told me. while we made up he had the chance. HE HAD THE PERFECT CHANCE. we made up we ,shared our mistakes ,we forgave and forgot so why didn't he tell me. I would have had time to think this over. time to acknowledge the fact that my dad is getting re married.

yes I am happy for him as he said he was lonely but I could barely handle the fact that he had been sleeping with someone and didn't mention it to us so how does he expect me to handle the fact that he is now marrying this woman.

I hope he realises that this woman will now be my step mom and I have to deal with that for the rest of my life. how could he not ask me first.

ok I may be over reacting abit I haven't really given her a chance. the first time I met her she was lovely and I thought of her as another mother BUT NOT MY ACTUAL STEP MOM. I guess im just holding the fact that she had sex with my dad against her.

i let out a awkward cough gaining the attention of both dad and Diana

"nice table" i said breaking the silence

dianas cheeks instantly turned red as she looked away while dad looked a bit pissed of...lmao

"look kiara you have to understand that I -!"~ dad never managed to finish his sentence as I cut him of with my shouting.

"YES DAD OK I get it you were lonely and wanted company! sex is one thing but GETTING MARRIED IS JUST- UGH"~ kiara

"kiara please just listen"~ dad replied calmly.

"Listen to what another one of your long ass speeches on how you were lonely and how me and max are grown up. how you needed a friend and things just escalated. how you have moved on from mom but she is still in your heart. how you love us no matter what . is that what you wanted dad! BECAUSE IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU KEEPING THINGS FROM US"~ kiara

Dads eyes were full of so much anger that he just lost it. he pushed his chair back with so much force that is went flying crashing into the floor a few meters away from his body that was shaking with rage.

"KIARA I LOVE HER FOR GODS SAKE. CANT YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME FOR ONCE THINK ABOUT ME AND NOT YOURSELF"~ dad shouted pounding his fists down on the table so hard that it caused some of the water from the water jug to spill on the table.

"I DID THINK ABOUT YOU BUT YOU DONT THINK ABOUT US DAD! " I spat back in the same harsh tone as he used on me.

"AND HOW DONT I "~ Dad

looking away from his ice cold gaze I decided to focus on the floor before replying

"you didn't even think about telling max and I about you getting married. forget that you didn't even tell us you were going to propose to her. you didn't ask us about how we would feel. don't forget that we lost our mom and your bringing this new women into our life who will act as our mother figure and you don't even ask us how we feel about that. cant you consider how this will effect our lives. I understand that you were lonely but you could have spoke to us, we would have understood. if you told us that you were lonely we could have helped dad but you didn't speak to us you just went to Diana.  look dad im happy for you and all but you could have had the decency to ask max and I how we feel. you should have asked us before you proposed"~ kiara