A Sky Full of Blue

Chapter 15: Orange is the Color of the Pumpkin

"Orange is the happiest color." ~Frank Sinatra

Weeks have gone by since my sleepover with Delilah. I showed her the dress and she loved it; she told me that I could fit into it if I put my mind to it. She told me to not give up on something that I love just because the choice doesn't fit right the first time around.

I haven't seen much of Toby because of his new girlfriend. At this point I forgot her name. I've never seen what she looks like, I've never heard her speak. Toby doesn't even bother talking to me anymore. He's so busy with her that he has no time for me.

On some nights when I really need him I pray, hoping that God will hear just so that I can have Toby to speak to for one more hour. I think that he's mad because I'm trying to become more independent.

I still ride to school with Toby, but he doesn't speak on those rides. Although he is silent, he does remember the things that bother me and he tries not to do them. He's showing at least a little courtesy. If only he could see that the biggest courtesy would be talking to me again.

I can't remember the last time he sat down on my bed and asked me how things were going. It's like he's changed in some way and I keep staying the same.

My mother has planned a pumpkin patch day for this weekend, before Homecoming, before the big game against the school's rivals. We usually win our Homecoming games, so I'm told, but this year we may not have the chance.

She told me to invite Theo, so that's what I've been trying to do for the last half-hour of lunch. I sit at the end of the table now, not speaking much. The soccer team has noticed, but they never say anything. It's really sad.

Delilah sits next to me once in a while, but I think that she likes flirting with the boys more. It's something that I've never mastered, so I get uncomfortable when she does it.

I've been building the courage, wringing my hands together, tapping my fingers against my thigh. I've noticed that Toby keeps looking over at me, and Delilah keeps looking between the both of us, not saying a word.

I stand, sighing. It's better to get this over with so that I can spare too much of what they call embarrassment.

Theo has his head down, and he's eating his food slowly, carefully. He's scrolling through photos on his phone. I clear my throat to get his attention. His head shoots up and he quickly closes out of the pictures. I do not understand that. There wasn't anything bad was there?

"So I was wondering something..." I don't meet his gaze, and I know it's bad, but I haven't had the coaching from Toby. We would've gone through this at least twenty times, or until I got it right before I could actually say something to Theo.

"Yes?" I look at my feet, noticing the way Theo's voice sounds. It feels nice, warming me up. It's deep and soft, and it makes me feel like I'm in a closed off space, full of warmth and light.

"I-" I look over to Toby, who has his eyes locked on me. He gives me a soft smile, so close to the marigold smile. He nods his head to Theo, and tells me silently, chin up. I smile back, grateful for this. I've gotten through to my brother for the first time in weeks.

I look Theo in the eyes and hold eye contact. For some reason my face heats up when I look into those Carolina eyes, and my expression changes. I offer a weak smile and swallow hard before continuing.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the pumpkin patch with me this weekend? I heard that the weather is supposed to be beautiful and I could ask coach if you could skip practice so that you wouldn't get in trouble-" he cuts me off smiling.