Chapter 21 (Lauren)

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Lauren had left her bedroom door open. She wanted to be sure to hear anything that she might need to intervene with.

Josh entered slowly and shut the door behind him. He looked ragged, like he'd just been drug through the mud. 

Lauren was sitting on her bed, her favorite pillow on her lap, and Josh sat down next to her. 

"We have to stop." She knew he was going to say it, but it still felt like she'd been punched in the stomach.

"I know, Josh. As much as it hurts me, as much as I think it's unfair, I know it's right." 

He looked at her then, an understanding between them. There would be no tears this time, at least not right now. 

"I love you, Lauren." He began lowering his head down to meet hers. 

"I love you, too, Josh," was all she get out before they started kissing. His touch still had an effect on her, but it wasn't an electric shock this time, or a lightning strike. This kiss was goodbye. 

With every minute that passed, Lauren could feel her heart breaking apart, piece by piece. Neither of them wanted the kiss to end. They knew it was the last one they would ever have. 

They didn't have a choice, however, as Lauren's mom swung the bedroom door open and entered the room. "Lauren, I—" She stopped and her mouth hung open. She was seeing her daughter and step-son in bed, kissing, his body on top of hers. 

Shannon didn't say anything. She simply turned around and walked out.

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Lauren found her mom minutes later, sitting in the kitchen, sipping a hot tea—what she always drank when she needed to calm herself down. 

"Mom, I think we need to talk." Lauren pulled out the chair next to her mother and began. 

She told her mom everything, not holding anything back, beginning with the drive after therapy and ending with those dreadful photos. They sat there for hours; her mom not saying much, just listening.

In the end, they agreed that it would be best for Lauren to stay with her grandparents until it was time for her to leave for Northwestern. The less time she spent with Josh meant the less temptation she would have. 

"Lauren, you know I love you. I will never not love you, but this just isn't right." Lauren knew that. She had known it since the beginning. She just hadn't had the nerve to say it herself. 

After hugging her mom so tight she thought she might break her, Lauren went upstairs to start packing.

It was hardest thing she'd ever had to do, but with every item that was packed into her duffel bag that evening, Lauren let a piece of Josh go. She had to let him go completely if she was ever going to move on with her life. This was the first step. 

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