Misguided Ghosts {A Bucky Barnes fanfic}

Chapter Eleven

I started off by telling Bucky his past. I told him about his family, how he met Steve, what their relationship was like, how he met me, what our relationship was like leaving out how we had started to fall in love because I know that romance can be a stressful topic. I also informed him about how he fought in the war.
"You did a lot of good in your lifetime, Bucky," I said.
"None of that matters now. I've done so much harm; I've hurt so many people that it doesn't matter," he grumbled.
"It matters to me." It was silent for quite a while.
"So how did HYRDA get a hold of you?" Bucky asked.
"I went looking for you. I should have known better. I walked right into one of their secret bases," I explained. "I have some photo albums at my apartment. Would you like to see them?" Bucky nodded and I stood from the couch beside him.
Jamie sat in an armchair across the room, her gaze locked on Bucky. I knew she still didn't trust him. When he stood, she reached for her gun that was strapped to her calf.
"Jamie, calm down. It's fine; he's fine," I told her, placing my hand over hers. Her gaze finally left Bucky, and she looked up at me. She nodded once, stood, and lead the way out of the house. Jamie was quick to hop into the passenger seat with arms crossed over her chest.
"You don't look too pleased with me," I stated with a smirk as I started the car. I waited until Bucky closed his door to start driving off.
"Really? What gave you that idea?" She replied sarcastically.
"Just the death glare you gave me while I walked towards the car." She rolled her eyes and I chuckled.
We reached my apartment building, and I turned towards my friends.
"Now when walking up, we have to be extremely quiet. Got it?" Jamie and Bucky nodded, and we began to ascend the stairs to my apartment. When we reached my door, I slowly turned the knob and ushered the two in. Steve mustn't have been home because he didn't come out like I expected him to. I sighed as I closed the door behind me.
Jamie went to sit down on the black leather recliner, and Bucky on the black leather couch across from her. I walked into my closet to retrieve the photo albums, and placed them on the coffee table. I sat next to Bucky, and smiled when I opened the book to reveal a picture of him in uniform. I explained nearly every picture to him.
"I can't believe these were preserved," Jamie stated while looking through another album.
"Yeah Bella always had them. She gave them to me a couple years ago, but I haven't looked at them ever since," I explained to her. Two books later, we came across a picture of Bucky and I, our arms wrapped around each other, and me kissing his cheek as he smiled at the camera.
"This is us?" He asked, and I felt my cheeks heat up.
"Um yeah. It was taken about a week before you shipped out for London," I explained. He stared at it in silence for a minute before looking over at me.
"May I have it?" I was surprised by this, but smiled.
"Of course." I removed it from the page, and he gently stored it in his pant's pocket.
"Uh I guess it's about time I return these to you," I said while removing his dog tags from my neck, and handing them to him. He looked them over with what I could have sworn was a smile, but it was so quick I wasn't entirely sure.
"You keep them," he said, handing them back to me.
"Really?" I questioned.
"Yeah. They seemed to have served you a greater purpose than for me."
"I only kept them because they were the only real thing I had left of you," I whispered. After a moment of silence, a question came to my mind.
"Why did you attack me the other day? I mean the night before when you saved me, you were so kind then something changed the next morning. What happened?" I asked him. Bucky's calm posture stiffened up then.
"I was afraid. That night as I slept, I had...strange feelings and visions. They scared me, so that's why I acted the way I did. I'm sorry," he stated. I could see the pain in his eyes, and it killed me.
"It's alright. You're forgiven."
"Hey I better go. I've done my part," Jamie stated standing up.
"Oh alright. I'll talk to you later," I called after her before the door closed.
"So do you have any clothes besides the one's you're wearing?" I called over my shoulder as I put the albums away.
"No," Bucky answered.
"Well then why don't we go buy some," I suggested. "I'd go shop for you by myself, but I'm not sure of your sizes." He looked extremely hesitant and nervous, but he nodded.
I grabbed my purse and keys, and lead him out of the apartment. I gave Bucky a baseball hat to cover his face. I watched as he pulled on a glove onto his left hand before turning my attention back to the road. We drove in silence all the way to the mall. I noticed how he was on high alert as we walked through the mall.
"Don't worry. I'll protect you," I teased with a smile. He relaxed slightly, and gave a nod. After what seemed like hours upon hours of shopping, which was only two hours, we found six tee shirts which I basically had to force Bucky in to, four long sleeved shirts, six pairs of jeans, three jackets, two new pairs of shoes, and another baseball hat.
"Progress is being made," I breathed out as I carried the bags out to my car.
Later that night as I made dinner for the two of us back at my house, it started to rain. It wasn't a gentle rain either, but a full-on storm. Bucky was pacing the living room, and I was getting worried. I placed the spoon I was holding down on the counter, and walked up to Bucky slowly. The dark room suddenly illuminates as if it were in the middle of the day for half a second, then a huge clap of thunder follows making Bucky jump. I scream as he puts his fist through the wall.
"What the hell was that?" I shout. When Bucky looks back at me, his eyes are cold and dark. This isn't him; this is an assassin, and he's walking towards me.
"Bucky please." I take the opportunity to quickly leap over the couch to put some distance between us. He catches me, takes me by the shirt, and throws me against the wall as another clap of thunder shakes the house. I cry out, mostly because of shock. He grabs me by the throat, and picks me up so my feet are off the floor. I try prying his metal hand away from my neck, but it doesn't work. I try punching and kicking, but that doesn't work. I'm strong, but he's definitely stronger. I reach into his mind to pull out the memory of him seeing the picture of us he kept. Suddenly he throws me into the floor as hard as he can. I gasp as pain engulfs my entire body. Black spots dance across my vision, and I try my hardest to stay awake.
I feel arms picking me up, and I scream.
"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!"
"Shhh Rose," Bucky's voice soothes. He's back, but that doesn't stop me from shaking. As my vision clears, I don't know what to do, so I sit there averting his gaze. He carries me upstairs into the bedroom.
"I'm sorry," Bucky says, his voice cracking. I finally look up at him to see tears running down his face, and I burry my face in my hands. I'm still shaking as he sets me down on my bed, and I cling to him, making him lay down as well. The tears finally escape my eyes, and I begin sobbing. He shushes me as he strokes my hair lightly. I can tell this situation is making him uncomfortable, but the old side of him slowly starts to show as he pulls me closer to his chest.
"I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me," he whispers. My sobs turn into quiet sniffs, and I turn my head to look up at him. I'm too tired to reply, so I let my heavy, swollen eyes close.
*******
The next morning, I dress into light washed denim shorts and a white and purple plaid shirt. I twist my hair up into a bun a top my head while slipping on white flip flops. I'm bruised, sore, and I have a pounding headache. I walk downstairs to find Bucky sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of him.
"I'm going to the store, do you need anything?" He shakes his head.
"What about a razor? Do you wanna shave?" He shrugs and I sigh.
"I'll take that as a yes. I'll be back in a thirty minutes," I told him while grabbing my car keys and purse.
The whole drive to the store, I'm thinking about Bucky. I know he feels horrible about what he did last night. I'm afraid he will leave because he feels so guilty, and worried that he'll hurt me again. I just have to hope that he's there when I return.
I get home to notice Bucky's not in the living room, nor the kitchen. My heart starts racing as I hurriedly walk up the stairs. I walk into his room, silently praying he's in here.
"Bucky," I call. The bathroom door opens, and he walks out with a white towel wrapped around his waist. Steam billows out of the bathroom, and he pushes his hair out of his face. Bucky was pretty fit before, but now he was like a Greek God. Water drips down his perfectly defined abs, and I bite my bottom lip. He clears this throat, and I notice I've been staring. I blush, and push a stand of hair behind my ear.
"Uh here's your razor," I say, walking up to him. He smells like coconut, and I laugh.
"What's so funny?" He asks, eyebrow knitted together as he takes the razor.
"You smell nice," I tease, and he rolls his eyes. He walks back into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him causing me to jump.
"Sorry," he calls from the other side.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Short update, sorry! Thank you everyone for the sweet comments. They really motivate me to keep writing for you guys. And thanks for all the reads! 9K is crazy! I've never thought this story would be that successful. Y'all don't know just how much I appreciate every single one of you. Alright sappy stuff over. Vote, comment, share!
Madie xx