It was 12:40 in the goddamn morning.
And twitter was as active as could be.
At least to me it was. Danny had been tweeting about Chase; how he ruined everything for him by kissing Emma, taking her away from him, changing how she felt, moving in on me and therefore changing the circumstances. The vast majority of his tweets were directed at Chase. Danny's anger was apparent and I could feel and hear it through the screen when I read it.
The last thing he tweeted, however, wasn't directed at Chase. It was directed at Emma, who was probably up in her own bed, unable to think or breathe just like I was.
Danny Murphy via twitter; 06/20/2018:
"I love you. It isn't your fault. Your perfect don't let anybody tell you you aren't. I didn't try my best for you and I didn't give you what you deserve. I'll never get the chance to now. Thank you for changing my life, none of this is your fault. I already miss you so much"
That was the last anyone heard from Danny. That was at 11:46pm.
Now, it was an hour later. Chase got on after reading what Danny wrote and started proclaiming that he probably deserved what he was getting from Danny. That not knowing whether he was okay or not was more important than anything else in the world. And anything else in the world was a subtle way of saying more important than me.
He used twitter as his platform the way Danny had, claiming that minutes earlier, he was just so furious at the situation, at himself. He stormed out of my room because he only needed a minute to himself to get composed. He was gonna come back in and try and rehash it the way he planned. Or so he said. But during that so called minute, he opened his phone and saw what Danny wrote and his number one priority supposedly switched from me to him. Because his safety was the most important thing at the time.
Now don't get me wrong. I do understand that at the time, knowing whether Danny was alive was easily more important than dealing with the fallout of all the drama, more important than clearing and patching things up with me. Now it all makes sense. I get it. But then I didn't. At the time, I was certain it was just an excuse to abandon the situation. I was so bloody paranoid, I was sure that Chase was using Danny to get out of feeling the moral need to talk to me again. I was so insecure. At the time, I could've seen him simply facing the other way as a sign of abandonment.
It's the one thing I really did wrong.
While Chase was on there stating that he had to go find Danny, I was wondering what the flying fuck he thought he was gonna do at almost one in the morning.
And while I was wondering that, Emma was online too. Except she wasn't tweeting about Danny, she was tweeting about me, about how she understood how crazy love can make a person, how she knew how I felt, how she was shattered at the fact that I was once so innocent and now so broken.
It wasn't until she finished her rant about how sad she was for me that she finally took the time to address the situation with Danny. She hadn't talked to him in such a long time.
She said that her heart was broken at the thought of what he said, at the thought that he might really have set out to hurt himself. Their history. She couldn't ever just forget that. One stupid kiss tripped her out for a minute. Chase could never be to her what Danny was. What she and Danny had was real, long and lasting. Chase didn't return the feeling for a moment. And that wasn't even the point.
Emma González via twitter 06/21/2018:
"I cared too much. I loved too much. So much, you can't ever really undo it."
But Emma's proclamation of love for Danny didn't change the fact that he could've been gone. And he never saw what she said. He didn't know.
There was this trip coming up on the 22nd, and we were all gonna go sleepover and go swimming and stuff for a night. It was scheduled a week ago and everyone had been so excited. None of this had barely even begun then. And the trip was scheduled to go on like nothing ever happened.
