I searched through my purse, digging through the piles of crap I carried around with me.
Why did I carry so much shit? It’s not like I used it anyways.
I sighed running my fingers through my hair. Today was a crap day for me. I spilled coffee on my white button down, I tripped over a stapler and scraped my knee pretty badly, I was called “fat,” and to top it all off I was fired.
I bent down and picked up a fake rock revealing the spare key underneath it. Turning around I took a deep breath. How was I supposed to explain this, what was going to say? I shook the thoughts out of my head as I unlocked the door, throwing my stuff onto the floor.
“Babe, I think I lost my key.” I walked into the kitchen throwing my blazer onto the counter. “Mark?” I picked up a note from counter next to where I had thrown my jacket.
He was out with his friends like always, I mean it didn’t even seem like I was his girlfriend anymore. He was so distant, always lost in his own head, drifting through conversations with one worded answers. I sighed turning to walk to the stairs. Tomorrows our anniversary. Tomorrow we will have been dating for a whole year. 365 days of Mark. That to me was something to be thankful for. I stopped on the stairs, hearing muffled voices coming from the upper floor. That’s when I saw it, a bra. A beautiful red lace bra, with rhinestones placed softly onto the rim and center, flowering lace covering it’s entirety. It was sexy. Nothing like the bras I owned. I looked further up the staircase. Clothes were strewn all over it, ripped off and carelessly thrown somewhere. I closed my eyes. He wasn’t doing this to me, we have worked so hard. So fucking hard to build this relationship. I walked further up the stairs, the moans getting louder with each step. I stopped pausing at the door to our bedroom. I wanted to call his name, but as I opened my mouth nothing came out. Not even a whisper. Y/N he is not doing this to you, h-he loves you, he’s gone out of his way to prove his love to you. He would not throw this-us away. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. It’s not what you think. I carefully opened the door, slowly letting it inch further and further into the bedroom. I stood frozen as my eyes laid upon him. He was on top of some girl, naked. Doing things, saying things he never did with me. I wish I could say she was hideous, I wish I could call her a skank, or a whore. But in reality she was pretty, she was a girl with a kind face, and she was doing what I had done. Fallen for his charm. I managed to croak out as loud of a cough as I could. She noticed me first, looking at me with confusion, then with pure pity. Her golden brown eyes filled with guilt as if almost understanding my pain. She then turned to him pushing him off her “Mark, Mark stop!” He looked at her thrusting in one last time before turning to me. He mumbled some curse words before getting off her and pulling up some boxers, while she scrambled to find something to cover herself up with. I would ask myself “how could he do this to me?”or “why would he do this to me?” but if I were honest with myself I saw this coming, I just chose to ignore the fact he was always sleeping over at a “friends,” that he was always busy with “work.” I just stood there, stuck in place. Drowning in my own thoughts. “Y/N it’s not what it looks like.” I turned to the girl and threw her a weak smile, “If you wouldn’t mind, I think its best of you to leave now. If you want I can wash your clothes and return them to you some other time.” She looked down to the floor in embarrassment “I-I’m so sorry.” I nodded my head in agreement, “I am too.” She walked out of the door closing it lightly as if it was going to break if she closed it any harder. “Y/N I swear, I can explain this.” I walked over to the bed and plopped myself down putting my head in my hands. “Don’t you dare pull that bullshit on me. I deserve more than that.” He sighed sitting down next to me. “I don’t know what to tell you.” I took my head out of my hands, feeling my eyes struggling to hold back tears. I can’t cry now, not in front of him, not after what he’s done. “How long has this been going on?” He stood up facing me. “three months.” three months? Three months of lies, and deception, three months of fucking another woman? I looked up at the ceiling, my breaths shaky, and unsteady. “Y/N I didn’t know what I was doing! I-I never mean to hurt you. I love so you much Y/N.” I stood up and walked over to my closet, picking out my suitcase. I then turned around and threw it onto the bed. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me you love me. I just found you being intimate with another woman. I just found out you’ve been lying to me, that you’ve been deceiving me for months now. If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t need to go to another woman when you couldn’t keep it in your pants.” I turned to the dresser grabbing my clothing items and shoving them violently into my suitcase. “Y/N what do you want me to say, Huh? That I was so bored with our sex life that I had to find other ways to fulfill my needs, do you really want to hear that?” I zipped up my suitcase “Yeah, actually. If you had I don’t know maybe fucking communicated with me, then I could have tried new things!” I sighed setting the suitcase on the floor. “Mark, the great thing about relationships is that if you’re not happy with it you can end it. You don’t have to cheat, or lie, or hurt the other person.” He stopped pacing for a second, finally realizing I has a suitcase in my hands. “Y/N…what are you doing?” I straightened myself and looked directly into his eyes. “I’m ending it, I don’t need to be with someone who doesn’t love me.” I broke eye contact walking to the door until he ran in front of me. “Mark move-” He cut me off “No we can talk this through.” I pushed him aside “No Mark, we can’t.” He looked at me, his expression filled with sadness as if I had just kicked a puppy on the side of the street. “I love you.” I looked directly into his crystal blue eyes “Don’t lie any more than you already have.” I walked down the staircase grabbing my purse and a jacket. “Y/N don’t do this, don’t end what we have.” I turned to him half of myself in the door half of myself out. “Mark, you’re the one who threw this away, not me.” and with that I walked outside turning away from the only true relationship I knew. That was the day Mark and I broke up, and that was the day my heart grew stronger. I learned I didn’t need someone else to define who I was.
