Going Back

Chapter Five - Better Than Her.

But up close, when we speak... it becomes painfully clear.

She is the reason I am alive.

"I'm in the room she was aren't I?"

Scarlett smiled and nodded as she walked to the fridge. "You sure are. How'd you guess?"

"Aside from a couple of her paintings adorning the walls in there, I could just tell."

"Well it seemed only right. Shall we go?"

I nodded and finished my coffee off before placing the cup in the dishwasher. Scarlett didn't ask me about Evan as we drove to the office, a fact I was more the grateful for.

As we pulled up outside the Booked Out Building I pulled off my seatbelt and got out of the car as quickly as possible, considering Scarlett was double parked.

"I'll be back at five." She smiled as I leaned down to close the door.

"See you at 5."

I closed the car door and turned on my heel until I was facing the building. I sucked in a deep breath, so deep that it hit the pit of my lungs. I placed my hand below my breasts and let the breath out slowly. I was anxious today, more than yesterday but for a different reason.

I had half a mind to run the other way, catch a cab to LAX and high tail it home. But I didn't. I was drawn in now, a part of the problem. I had a responsibility to help.

I walked towards the building, pausing for a moment as I reached the doormen.

"Morning Ma'am." One exclaimed opening the door for me.

I smiled and nodded. "Morning." and began to walk again.

I walked across the foyer and pressed the button for elevator.

"Fancy meeting you here again." Evan's voice spoke as he stopped alongside me.

"Well I work here." I replied.

"I hear the boss is kind of an ass."

"That's an understatement." I replied. "Yesterday was my first day and I already have a whole novel worth of story."

The elevator doors opened and a couple of people stepped out, Evan and I walked inside and he hit the close door button.

"I'm sorry I've made this all so hard on you. I know you're here to find your path and all I'm doing is propping up hurdles for you to jump over."

I smiled and folded my arms across my chest.

"Hurdles only hurt if you're not ready to take a leap over them. Don't worry about Me Evan Jackson. Worry about yourself."

The doors opened at the top floor, today the elevator had played ball and there had been no mid-incline hiccup. I followed Evan through the office and down the corridor. Greta was already at her desk as we walked in together.

She looked at Evan and then me, and I could almost see the questions in her eyes. She swallowed them back however and stood up, walking around the desk and toward Evan holding an envelope.

"Good morning Mr Jackson, Ace... Er, this was here this morning when I arrived, the mail boy must have delivered it. I didn't think anyone sent letters anymore, but oh well."

Evan stiffened and took the envelope. "Thanks Greta."

He continued walking into his office and closed the door. Greta gazed at me, her eyes tracked down to my feet and back up to my face.

"You arrived together." She mused dryly.

"Coincidence." I assured her, though I could tell by her raised, yet perfectly arched brow she didn't believe me.

"You can get to work on continuing with putting the removed files into the removed list. I trust that after yesterday's debacle it'll be smooth sailing today?"

"Yes." I replied. "On it."

"Mr Jackson and I have a meeting to attend at 11am, we won't be back until after lunch. I'll bring the cleaning cart in before we leave, you can give the place a thorough clean."

"Both offices?" I clarified.

"Yes." She replied as though I was asking a stupid question.

I spent the morning migrating the files and then once Greta and Evan had left I got stuck into the cleaning as requested.

I finally felt at peace in the office, without Greta and Evan here it seemed like there was no real way I could fuck up. Once I'd cleaned the receiving office I walked into Evan's. I started by dusting the book case, noticing a stereo I turned it on and began to sing along to kelly clarkson "Walk Away" as it played on the radio station.

It was something I only ever did on my own. After high school, the stage had terrified me. As the words left my mouth I danced around, feeling, for the first time in a long time, completely free.

When the song ended the stereo turned off. I stopped and turned to the bookcase and almost fell over Evan's chair. He stood there, arms folded with a perplexed look on his face.

"Oh god, please tell me I didn't make another mistake." I groaned. Greta had told me to clean both offices, I'd made sure to right down her instructions word for word as she spoke.

"No, not at all." Evan whispered. "I didn't know you could sing."

I walked out from behind Evan's desk and edged toward the office door. "I can't, I was singing along."

Evan walked toward the door and closed it before I could leave.

"I walked in a minute ago and turned it right down, you were so lost in it you didn't even notice. You can sing... you're amazing."

I shook my head. "Evan, I don't sing."

"You just did." He paused and folded his arms. "A hour ago I thought all hope was lost. You're better than her, you're more captivating, Ace, you might be the key to fixing this whole mess."

No Way. I was not going to do this, I couldn't do this. I placed my hand over the door handle and turned it, but Evan held it closed.

"Ace."

"Evan you told me last night to forget about it, now you want me to save you. No. I can't."