july 20, 2018
you were flirting with other girls as well today. something churned within me but i kept it well-hidden. i have no right over you. i should not restrict you from anything. it was science period again. one classmate asked us if we were together. you didn't reply. but you looked at me.
i broke our gaze. "no. no, matthew and i are just playing. right matthew?"i turned to look at you. you looked away. "yeah.", was all that left your lips.
i'm sorry matthew. but you do not like me. hell, even i don't like me. but matthew, i won't like you. because if i do, i know i'll use you.
i don't know how i will, or why i do it, but when i get attached to someone, i always use them. i don't want that. for your sake and mine.
you put your things in my locker. and we share your water. no wonder people assume we're dating.
it was the last class of the week. arts. you and i had bumped into each other frequently during arts. maybe because we were all over the classroom.
you hugged me today, matthew.
finally.
