How To Be A Bitch (On Hold)

➸ five: what makes a champion tick

➸ five: what makes a champion tick

« some people are meant to stay while others are meant to leave. and there's really no difference between the two, except the way you change after you realize you have nothing else left to give. »

 Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely leaving us with only the choice of what to do next. We have our choices, to choose either to be afraid of it, to stand there trembling not moving, assuming the worst that can happen or we can choose to step forward into the unknown and assume that it will be brilliant. I chose to do the latter. I chose to step forward, to not be afraid of what lay ahead and not to believe in fairytales.

But don't we all have a little tinge of faith in fairytales? A bit of hope that one day, maybe there will come a prince charming, either in a white horse or on foot and he will take us to a palace up in the hills and that our story will end with a happy ever after. Funny thing is, once we grow up and we open our eyes,  the fairytale disappears.

A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. It's true. Before we go into battle, we need to decide how much we're willing to lose. When I first decided to change, I knew what I was heading into. I needed to either adapt to change or I would get left behind. But here's the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. 

No one said that it was going to be easy. In fact, Jayne herself told me that it was going to be hard. But I wouldn't go down without a fight. I needed to at least try to change and try to be the person I deserved to be. And now I understand what Benjamin Franklin meant:
That knowing, is better than wondering. That waking, is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying.

∆

As soon as I got home, I texted Jayne on Skype hoping that she would put me out of my dillema.

  _muggleborn: help! ashton said that he will call me as soon as he gets home. what should i do?

  bitchplease: don't answer.

  _muggleborn: um...okay. but why?

  bitchplease: honey, pride and attitude is what makes a champion tick. you shouldn't talk to him. act normal but don't act as though you are affected by ashton and grace's love story, the way you are. act nonchalant, like you don't give a shit.

  _muggleborn: thanks <3

  bitchplease: always a pleasure. 

I could tell you that Ashton didn't call me, and I was happy that I didn't have to ignore his call but then again, I wouldn't lie to you. So, to be honest, Ashton did call me. In fact, he called me as soon as I finished talking with Jayne. I just stayed there staring at my phone with Ashton's name flashing on it for two times and then three and then four and it continued ringing until curiosity got the best of me and I picked it up when it rang for the fifth time.

"Blimey Caroline! Where were you? I'm hanging up now because I'm already going to reach your house." 

"Wait, wha-" Before I could finish my sentence, Ashton hung up the phone leaving me with a confused face and a more confused brain. I didn't know why Ashton was in such a hurry to talk to me nor did I have any idea why he wanted to but I didn't get much time to ponder upon that because as soon as I reached downstairs, the doorbell rang.

With an unsure mind, I opened the door to my house to reveal a disheveled Ashton. He looked tired as though he hadn't been sleeping for days - even though he looked perfectly fine when I saw him after school - and his hair was messed up to the point where it looked like a birds nest. "I thought you didn't want to talk to me. I've been worried sick," Ashton said while running a hand through his hair as if to exaggerate his point.