Chapter eighty five

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"This sucks," Thomas sighed.

   He and Minho had ended up going to the bowling alley with The Right Arm and cranks in spite of everything.

   Neither of them wanted to but, after Sonya found out that Newt wasn't going, she wouldn't take no for an answer.

   Plus, she was so upset, Thomas and Minho didn't have the heart to refuse.

   Now the two were sitting quietly, too caught up in their own thoughts to say anything as they waited for their turn to bowl.

   "You mean the game or our life?" Minho asked, the sarcasm weak. "Because you definitely suck at the game."

   Thomas didn't even have it in him to retaliate. "You know what I mean."

   His friend sighed. "Yeah, sorry. I know."

   Thomas put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on the table. He just couldn't believe how far gone Newt was. Wasn't it only a few days ago when they were laughing and joking around together? What had happened in such little time?

   "Thomas!" Brenda called, making him look up.

   "Yeah?" He asked.

   "It's your turn," she answered.

   Thomas looked at Minho. "Can you play for me? I need some fresh air."

   "Sure," his friend answered, scrunching his eyebrows in concern. "Is everything okay?"

   Thomas sighed, standing up. "No, it's not," he answered. "That's why I'm going outside. I'll be back in a minute."

   Minho nodded in understanding before going to play for him.

   Thomas made a beeline for the door, bursting through and taking a deep breath of air when he was outside.

   In all honesty, the fresh air didn't help. But it felt good to get away from everyone.

   He walked around to the side of the building and sat down, putting his head in his hands again.

   A few moments later, his phone dinged with a text.

   It was from Newt.

   Thomas' heart started pounding in his chest as he unlocked his phone.

   His friend had sent a short text with a video attached to it. He read the text first.

   Newt: Tommy. This is my final goodbye. It's the end of the line for me so it's time I send you this video. I hope you understand.

   The words pinched Thomas' heart but he still scrolled to see what the video was about.

   He took a deep breath and pushed play.

   The black screen turned into an image of Newt. Back when he was healthy, looking more alive than Thomas had seen in a long time.

   The blonde was sat on his bed, hands folded in his lap as he stared at the floor. After a few seconds, he took a deep breath and looked up at the camera. He gave a small smile, but his eyes were full of pain.

   "Hey, Tommy," Newt said. "I know I don't have much longer left to live. Actually, by the time you see this, I'll probably already be gone."

   He sighed and Thomas' heart clenched at the sight.

   "I know you're going to blame yourself," he continued. "For not being able to stop the dreams, but you don't understand. This is just apart of life, Tommy. I'm not going to make an exception for your dreams anymore. I won't let you be there when I die.

   "And I know you're upset that I didn't go along with them all the time, but I can't always help it. Take that one line as an example, 'living hasn't been so great anyway'. It's not true so I won't say it. My life has been amazing, Tommy.

   "I just need you to understand. Everything that happened to me wasn't your fault. But nothing was fake either. All those good times we had that you thought were 'just apart of the dreams' actually  weren't. Everything I did with you, I did on my own, not because of the dreams, okay? Nobody made me do or say anything.

   Newt looked at the screen and gave a weak smile.

   "So when I say 'if I could do it all over again, I would and I wouldn't change a thing.' I mean it. And I said that for myself, not just because the Newt in your dreams did. He's not me. I'm me, Tommy, everything about me is real.

  He took a deep breath and continued.

"My life has been great for as long as it lasted. I'm okay with it coming to an end. But I'll miss you, Tommy." Newt let out a sad laugh and that's when his tears started falling. "I'll miss you a lot. I'll miss all the good times that we could've had.

   He wiped at his face but that did little to stop the tears.

  "But you shouldn't be sad, Tommy. You do deserve to be happy. You deserve the safe haven you told me about. You deserve to live a good, long life. And you can do that without me. I know you can.

  "Just don't forget the memories we've made. And please don't regret the way things have turned out, because they've been good. More good than bad. So when you're looking back years from now, I hope you'll be happy with how life turned out, Tommy.

   "That's why I made this video for you. So you can remember everything we've done together, every single good time we've had. Thank you for being my friend, Tommy. Thank you for giving me a good life, even if it ended sooner than expected. I'll miss you. A lot. But thank you for everything, Tommy. Goodbye."

   Then the screen faded to black and three words showed up.

   My favorite memories.

   The letters went away and were replaced with a picture.

   The first picture was of Thomas on the day he met Newt. He was laughing at something, a s'more in his hand.

   Then it faded into another picture: Minho winning the track race all those weeks ago.

   The tears had fallen sometime during Newt's message and they didn't stop now. Picture after picture showed, of all the good times Thomas had with his friends. Laughing, joking around, playfully shoving each other. They only made his chest hurt more.

   He laughed at a particularly funny picture of Minho pinning Thomas down on the floor and slamming a pillow into his face.

   He didn't even know how Newt was able to take the picture, but he wasn't about to complain.

   Eventually, the screen faded to black again and a few more words appeared.

   Thank you for the best few months of my life.

   The video ended.

   Thomas waited a second before playing it again.

   The second time he watched it, something pricked at his thoughts, something important that he couldn't quiet put his finger on.

   It was the third time he watched it that he realized what it was.

   And Thomas found out how to save Newt.

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