Fire and the thud

Chapter 30: The beginning in the end.

And he did, every time.

"Wait." He felt like he was falling out off self control and some pieces he could remember went through his mind. He didn't want to sink back to sleep again, even when he couldn't be wide awake. "Is Arabella Hunt here?" 

"Only family members can visit a patient." Dark haired girl with tiny features, stuttered while sitting next to her computer, a receptionist, how Alex could get. She didn't even look at him. His brain started proceeding pretty well as fast as medication stopped working. He sighed with relief from knowing, that she's here. The worst he was hoping for didn't happen.

Guy which was apparently holding Alex by the hand cleared his throat . Brian, that was written in tiny letters on his card. "Haydie, he was in that accident with her. I guess he has some rights to visit her. Just look at him."

Last part sounded a bit insulting, but Alex couldn't feel offended when he probably looked like a shit.

"To end of the corridor and door by left." Ashes blond carefully punched his side, in amicably way telling him direction. Alex just nodded and with his melting legs took his way leading to Arabella.

---

White door wasn't closed carefully and Alex could see a little man sitting on foldable chair, his head low, probably tired. But his fingers were locked with lifeless hand on the bed.

".. Isn't this insane? I only saw people acting like this in movies. Talking like this to their friends while they can't hear them." Young musical genius shook his head with a light grin in his cheeks which disappeared immediately. "I miss you Ellie, we all do.. If only you saw Ezra's face when he heard what happened. He needs you. I've never seen him so happy because of girl before you."

Alex's fingers slid away from door knob and he just leaned to the closest wall listening to gentle voice inside the room.

Rostam rubbed his face, still hoping that her fingers will compress his any moment. It was his turn to take care of her, while Ezra was in hotel, trying to get some rest. They spent past days here, in hospital, waiting for Arabella to wake up after surgery. Her reaction to anesthesia was poor, and nobody was really sure when will she rouse. No matter how many times his mind pretended to feel her fingers moving in his palm, it didn't happen. 

"He's just going insane without you. He's scared. We all were severely overwhelmed by the thought of losing you. CT got into his overprotective brother mood, Baio acts like a worried European dad, and me, well I'm that gay best friend hardly holding down the tears." Rostam stood up, trying to stretch his limbs after sitting for too long. He couldn't complain, he was happy that Ezra finally took a time out from this silent madness which was happening here, in this little white room.  In many ways it reminded of asylum, all that dimness mixed with some kind of melancholy was the worst combination possible in the state they were living in.

"Oh Ellie. You couldn't even imagine the things you're doing to him. Isn't he the one who should be telling you this?" 

Alex clenched his joints, then cupped his head full-filled by pain. When tingling lightened, he kept listening.

"..You're his portable New York. You're his home.  A person, who can shut down his controversial mind for as long as he needs.. It should be amazing to be so loved." 

Rostam sighed leaning into window, watching palm waving at him on the side of the street. Mornings like this was something that made his stomach twist. He rubbed back of his neck, getting back to his place. 

His voice broke down. He tried to say a word, but it just got stuck there. He felt tragically sad flooded by sudden memories. It made him miss Arabella even more, when in fact he felt like he could tell her anything. "I wish I.. There's always some things that are held inside for so long you forget them until they get back, threatening to explode. I'm a time bomb, but this is not the day I'm going to let that thing out, Ellie. "