Kintsukuroi || Dazai Osamu x Reader

9. Beati Pauperes Spiritu

Beati Pauperes Spiritu - 'blessed in spirit are the poor '. A bible quote (Matthew 5:3) commonly seen inscribed in Christian homeless shelters and soup kitchens. The full verse is 'blessed in spirit are the poor, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'

{ Sept. 2; 20: 53 – (L/n) Residence (Konagecho Outskirts)

I woke up to wrinkled sheets and scattered clothes, feeling very alone. Dazai always vanished by morning. I rubbed my eyes. I wish he would stay. He was good company in an otherwise lonely apartment.

I yawned and got up to head in the shower to wash off from last night, wondering if I should get a cat or something so I had someone around the house. But then it would mess with all my art. Maybe a hamster?

I dried off and got out of the shower, and started cleaning up the carnage from last night. I spent ten minutes tidying up and making the bed. Doing so I was surprised to find Dazai left a book that must've fallen out of his coat in the heat of the moment. A Complete Guide to Suicide. Who on earth writes these things? I set it on the kitchen counter, not feeling compelled to open it. I texted Dazai and he said he'd pick it up that night. I replied that if he was trying for three days in a row I would toss the book in the fireplace and could almost hear his laughter through the phone.

I had until tonight off, so I spent the day lounging around and drawing out plans for a new graffiti piece - a simple bonfire with a glowing neon sign behind inscribed with the phrase 'Beati pauperes spiritu'. I'd have to restock on paint to complete it, but I was running out of cash. I'd either have to contact Chuuya or tough it out until payday.

I hated the idea of being dependent on the Agency, so I made a mental note to call Chuuya. That big pushover always gave me way more than necessary whenever I sold him information. He treats me like his charity case and thinks if he doesn't I'll turn to drug-dealing or prostitution. Which is fine by me. I profit from his ignorance

But I was distracted all day, and by nightfall I'd only made a loose sketch and a shopping list. I ate cereal for dinner feeling more alone than ever, and started researching easy-to-manage pets for city apartments. Cats ended up being my best option, to my frustration. I have a love/hate relationship with them, in that I love them and they hate me. Bianca's cat Ryuu is a slippery asshole and despises me, just like every other cat I've met. Besides, my graffiti... in my mind flashed a scene of Ryuu using my still-wet posters as a back scratcher and shivered.
I looked up the cost of maintaining a cat and nearly fainted. I really needed to call Chuuya.

Finally I shut off my laptop and put cats out of my mind. Today I was bringing provisions to my Ruro-sha [wanderer, nomad] group, aka the band of a dozen or so homeless people that brought me in after I fled the Mafia. I was one of them for about a year until the dust settled and Chuuya offered me both this apartment and a steady income as an informant. I'd probably be dead it weren't for my Ruro-sha, so to repay my debts I try to make their lives easier. I'd stocked up on supplies that should last them awhile, supplies currently sitting in my storage closet.
I checked the time. Half past eight.

I opened the front door in advance and tried to figure out how I'd carry everything. I had gathered an array of necessities ー toiletries such as shampoo and soap, deodorant, baby wipes, toilet paper, razors, clothes, and a few kid's toys. More importantly, I'd bought pads, tampons, and a couple boxes of condoms, all things that were of great importance when you're homeless. All of this filled a backpack and two gym bags.

I put on a heavy windbreaker before heading out, gym bags in tow, and was halfway down the stairs when to my surprise, I found Dazai walking up the same flight of stairs in front of me.

I would have buried my face in my hands if I could have.
"Dazai! My bad, I completely forgot you were coming over."

Dazai cocked his head, his brown locks falling to the side.
"That's fine. Where are you going?"