pretty boy like you // harringrove

14.

“Nance, I need to talk to you.” Karen twirled the phone cord around her finger. She liked doing that, it was a conscious habit. It made her feel like the lead in some teen romance novel.

“Yeah, what's up?” Karen could hear the smile in her voice, and suddenly the reality of the situation hit her - she liked a girl. And she wasn't homophobic, she loved Steve and Billy with all her heart, but somehow two girls was different. A voice in her head said that maybe this was what she deserved for being such a bitch to Laura Adams in the ninth grade when she tried to kiss her. Then another realization hit her, almost worst than the first.

“Laura Adams tried to kiss me.” She blurted.

“Oh my god. When? How?” Nancy gasped.

“Freshman year. We were having a sleepover and she tried to kiss me and I called her a dyke.”

“Why are you telling me this?” She could see Nancy’s raised eyebrow and piercing glare.

“Because I liked her and I was scared and I called her a fucking dyke!”

“Oh. Well, why now?”

“Because I fucked up. With Chloe.” Her voice was shaking. “We started… whatever. She told me she liked girls and I kissed her and that was so fucked up! You can't just do that to a person! It was manipulative and shitty, but she said it was fine and so we kept going and once turned into a lot and then she told me she couldn't be used by me anymore.”

“Well, are you using her?”

Karen shook her head even though she knew Nance couldn't see her. “Of course not.”

“Well, then we figure it out, don't we?”

☆☆☆☆☆

Chloe sat at the Harrington’s kitchen table, trying to make sense of Flannery O'Connor and smoking a cigarette with Steve. “You see off today.”

“How so?” Chloe cocked an eyebrow.

Steve smiled and shook his head. “Clo. Talk to me.”

“I had a thing with someone. But they, they were using me. So I broke it off.”

Steve’s face twisted up. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“She wanted to keep it, us, a secret.” Chloe realized what she let slip just as Billy let himself in the front door.

“She?” They both exclaimed in unison.

“Why didn't you tell us?” Steve.

“She didn't have to tell us anything-” Billy.

“But we're gay!”

“You're bi, Steve.”

“Yeah, but, like, we're gay, together, you-”

“Maybe we should let her, I dunno, talk?” The two of them turned to Clo expectantly.

“Yeah. I like girls. By the way.”

“Do we know any straight people? I mean, Nancy, Mike, Will, us, now Chloe…” Steve laughed.

Billy snorted. “Why would you want to know any straight people? Plus, we still have Karen.” Chloe flinched and Billy raised his eyebrows. “Oh my god. You and Karen?”

“Yeah, me and Karen. Don't worry though. She's fucking straight. I was an experiment. You know the deal.”

Billy’s lip curled. “The classic queer experience.”

“Am I the only one who didn't have that?”

“Yeah, you should be so lucky.” Billy shook his head. “Are you okay?”

Chloe shook her head. “I mean, no. It fucking sucks, but I accepted a long time ago that finding a girl in Buttfuck, Indiana would never happen.”

“What did Karen say when you broke it off?” Steve asked.

“Said she wasn't using me. Y'know, the whole thing. Poor straight girl is the victim here, clearly.”

Billy sighed and lit a cigarette. “Fuckin' breeders.”

Chloe stubbed hers out. "Fuckin' breeders."

☆☆☆☆☆

Karen and Nancy couldn't come up with a plan to get Chloe back. They both knew her very well, they both knew that once she made a choice she was usually dead set on it. They tried for hours, but they just couldn't. So Karen was at a party, deadset on running lines and trying to forget that she liked a girl.

Her dealer was here, Ronnie. He was a good dude. He was old, sure, but he was good. They used to get high together and talk about all the shit in their lives. Ronnie had a teenage girl a bit younger than Karen and no college degree. He told her he never wanted to deal drugs, but when his girlfriend killed herself after giving birth when he was sixteen he needed to get money, so he got into gangs and coke and all that bullshit. Said he hated dealing, that he didn't want to be responsible for anyone using.

Karen told him about the shit at home, her asshole dad, complicit mom, dead brother. He was the only one she told about the hallucinations she got when she popped those mystery pills last winter, when she saw the monsters in the woods with faces that opened up like petals that still haunt her dreams at night. He's a good guy, she thinks. Too good a guy, seeing as he's just fucking cut her off.

"Ronnie, you know me. It's just a good time." Karen fluttered her eyelashes at him, looked up and smiled.

"Babygirl, I am a lot of things, but interested in teenage girls isn't one of them. You're my daughter's age. That shit doesn't work on me." He laughed in her face at her attempt to flirt her way into an ounce.

"Fuck, Ronnie. I need a fix. I have the money right here. C'mon. We can talk and shit." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"No. I sell to kids looking for a good time. You have a problem, and laugh all you want, but you're like a daughter to me. I'm not seeing my girl throw away her life. Not because of me." He put a friendly arm around her shoulders. "You know I love you."

Karen just glared. "You cannot lecture me about wasting your life. You're still pushing, how old are you, thirty? Grow up."

She had hoped to make him mad, but he just smiled his sad half smile and it made her want to punch a wall. "I know you don't mean that. I'll ignore it, because I know what this shit does to people. But you don't need to lash out at me."

"If I don't get it from you I'll just get it somewhere else," she spat. "From that guy across the quarry."

Ronnie shook his head. "Baby, I can't stop you if that's really what you want. But know you can come to me, okay? My house is always open if you need a safe place."

She just rolled her eyes and took a sip of his beer. She thought, bullshit.

Then she thought: Chloe.

Then: "Thanks, Ronnie. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, baby. Me too."

"God save the prom queen
Teenage daydream
Just another
Dressed up heartbreak."

☆☆☆☆☆

Hey y'all! I finally got back into writing! I hit a huge block. I couldn't think of where I wanted the story to go. I apologize that there's not much Billy/Steve going on, but I love Karen and Chloe so much that I felt I needed to build on their characters. If I ever stray too far from what y'all came for let me know. I love to hear y'alls feedback.

Another thing: I don't have any social media besides this and Pinterest, but I do have boards for all my oc's and for this story, so if anyone wants to follow me, my username is @/lunasmare.