Lovesick the Series : The Declaration

5 - Confession

Noh wanted to confess and clear his stance. He was very sure of himself. Everything was clear now. Thanks to Earn. Earn made him see what he refused to acknowledge - his own feelings - his heart in its rightful place. He knew it had to be Phun and for some strange reasons, if he hadn't sounded it off on the phone that night to Earn, probably he'd still be in a limbo, a walking zombie. 

When he called Phun earlier, it re-affirmed his thoughts and intention. Yes, he was going to own up. Like a man, like he should. He owed Phun an answer and he was going to give him one tonight. They were going to meet at Phun's place, in another half hour. 

Phun had a dazed look when he came up to the entrance of his gate. He found Noh waiting for him in the garden with his sister Pang. Pang's fondness was growing with every visit that Noh made and it showed in the way she spoke with him, as if he was already family.

Noh spotted Phun entering but there was something off about him. He looked drained and that bright smile was missing. Phun greeted Noh and Pang, with all the strength he could summon and dragged Noh to his room. Noh was startled while Pang giggled herself silly.

Behind closed doors in Phun's room, Noh spoke first. "Hey, what was that for? Why did you have to rush me in like that?"

"Noh, what did you want to tell me?" 

Noh's anxious face relaxed. It broke into a shy smile as he inched closer to Phun. Phun looked into Noh's eyes and knew what Noh was going to say. He should be jumping up with joy. He should be swirling Noh around and showering him with kisses and celebrate the confession. But before Noh could speak up, Phun handed him the bag he was clutching. Noh had a question mark on his face. He looked into the bag and then looked up at Phun.

"What's the baby clothes for?" Noh asked innocently. 

"It belongs to Aim" replied Phun flatly and almost apologetically.

"Huh"

"I was out meeting with Aim for the last time, as she is leaving the country. She wanted to apologize in person and I wanted to return the gift she had given me.." he couldn't continue for a while.

He let Noh digest the first part while he paused.

"She left this shopping bag when she hurried out of the coffee shop" he continued. I wanted to return it to her but when I found what was inside, I couldn't. I don't want to know more than this. I don't want an explanation. I don't think I could handle the truth..."  Phun continued to blabber for a while in confusion while Noh listened. Phun was standing facing the window, unable to look at Noh, confessing a crime he was unsure of, his doubtful thoughts, he was baring his soul, his innermost fear.. sincerely and apologetically. Noh saw a vulnerable Phun - one that just came out clean and brave, one that knew what was at stake, one that had doubts, one that nobody has ever seen in school. He displayed it all here in his room with Noh. 

"Phun, stop talking", ordered Noh. Phun turned around startled at the strong and assertive command from Noh. Noh walked up to him and gave him a hug. Not an awkward or hesitant one. Noh hugged him and tugged harder as a dazed Phun slowly learnt to relax from the shock. The warmth from Noh slowly melted Phun's tensed body. 60 seconds of a quiet hug that spoke volumes between them. Noh slowly let go trying to not break the emotional connection they had just made. 

"Listen Phun. I came here to tell you that I like you and I am not going to change my mind or heart about that. I don't care if you have to run back to Aim and find out whatever the truth is, but just know that I have come to terms with my feelings and I am not holding it back just because you discovered a bag of baby clothes.", a quick confession slipped out so easy. It wasn't as hard as it had seemed in the beginning. Noh was relieved but still unsure about the outcome or Phun's reaction. " For all you know, it could be a gift for someone's baby - not necessarily hers."

Phun struggled a smile amidst all that anxiety and gave Noh a hug again. He couldn't bring himself to kiss Noh though he would have done just that if Aim wasn't in the equation. Phun setlled for a hug instead and whispered a heartfelt thanks to Noh. Noh was smiling but that bag lying on the bed ... did it really belong to Aim? And even if it did.. it didn't prove anything. Noh decided to just dwell in the moment and so did Phun.

There was a knock on the door and they both backed away from each other. Pang stood at the door and she knew it was a wrong time to disturb the two lovebirds. She gave an awkward smile as she placed an extra blanket. It was for Noh. She assumed he would spend the night at their place, in Phun's room. Noh was about to protest, but Phun grabbed his shirt from behind. Noh was in a fix.

While Phun was taking his shower, Noh took up the game console and got busy. Noh soon lost his focus when Phun came out of the shower with just a towel around his waist. Phun noticed the distraction caused and hurriedly handed Noh a clean towel, gesturing him towards the bathroom.

Confessions were made. Tensions were released. Noh and Phun had much to ponder about as they lay quietly side by side on Phun's very large bed. Phun began, "What if the baby is mine? What if... " and a quick kiss from Noh shut him up and his wandering thoughts. Noh would never take initiatives but this time, he just had to. Phun didn't expect but he responded likewise and soon landed atop Noh. They took their time to explore each other. Everything else ceased to matter. Noh's soft moans under Phun's gentle assaults was all the sound that Pang heard as she eavesdropped on them. She giggled and she let her imagination run wild.