moments.

three

kenzie's pov

"oh, john." i say quietly.

he's lying face-down on the bed, his shirt is off, his hair is messy, and he's sobbing way out of control.

he doesn't look up at me. he won't stop crying. i sit on the bed next to him, putting my arms around him. he collapses into me, his face buried in my chest.

"john, we're gonna see you all the time! i'll call, and visit, and text, all the time." i promise, tears filling my eyes again.

"you don't understand." he chokes out.

"tell me, johnny. what's going on?"

he shakes his head and wipes his eyes, then realizes how vulnerable he looks (because god forbid he has feelings), and quickly raises his head. his face is inches from mine, and i can see how red his eyes and face is. i bet mine matches his.

"johnny, im here for you. you know that." i soothe him, stroking my fingers through his hair. it breaks me to see him like this.

"not anymore, you're not." he mutters.

"what's really the problem, john?" i request, and it's an order for him to tell me, and he knows it. he doesn't answer at first, but when he starts talking, i listen.

"i get... depressed. a lot." he's not looking at me anymore, and his eyes are clouded over. "and when i'm feeling low, i need you. i need you and maddie and mel and greg and i don't know what's gonna happen to me if you guys aren't five minutes away from me all the time."

"johnny, oh my god." i say slowly, tightening my grip on his bare waist. "listen. we love you, all of us. and that isn't gonna change. and if you feel bad, like worse, you need to get some help, okay?" i made him look at me. "do you promise me that?" he nods and looks away.

"say it." i prompt.

"i... i promise." he mumbles.

"now i'm gonna get out, okay? don't cry too much, loser." i smile and tilt his chin up so he's looking at me again, and he holds my gaze this time. "or do you want me to stay?" he shakes his head, but when i leave, i can feel his eyes drilling into my back.

"kenzie?" he asks. i turn around. "are... are you okay with the move?"

"fuck no, john. i'm gonna miss you. and lauren, and mer, and dale and maddie and darian and all. and all my other friends, my dance studio, my house. this is where i grew up. of course i don't want to leave." i sigh.

this time it's his turn to comfort me. he stands up and walks over to me, noticing the tears in my eyes, and hugs me tightly. "i'm sure you'll make lots of friends there." he assures me, and i hug him back, tightly.

"but not like you and lauren."

"we're always best friends, okay? nothing can change that." he says, and i believed him.

but we were only 14. we were so naïve. we didn't know just much could change.