Author: SnowFrostI14
Book: Early
The Flow and Characters:
So, I didn't get halfway through your first chapter. It was confusing. I understood it was Jason Rose's point of view, but you introduced different characters as well. I felt like your structure was all over the place. Especially the bullet points, that was majorly mind-boggling. It was like you were stating the steps he was initiating as opposed to creating an actual story line with linking words and sentences. I'm really sorry but you really need to change the outline. I got a headache trying to comprehend where you were going with this. Despite that, your descriptions were accurate. You really hit it off with the action vibes. It was intense and you do have potential, your writing is professional. You just really need to frame your story and outline it accordingly. That way, you can avoid having readers stop midway or better yet, reread the lines in order to clarify things.
Rank: No rank, like I said your book has potential, but it is vague. Also, please remove the bullet points, it is ultimately a story. You can apply again, and I'll give it another shot (:
YOU ARE READING
Reviews and Ranks
RandomI feel like giving constructive criticism. I did this before and then deleted it. Whoever manages to find this, well you're in for an honest but a simple-straight-to-the-point review plus a ranking out of 10 :) ! P.s Votes are given for every chapt...
