Run Away

Chapter 44

It had been a month since we had first landed in Bali. We spent the whole month exploring. We went snorkelling in little bays, swimming with turtles, hiking, surfing, dolphin watching and getting to know the locals. It was an amazing month and one where I had peace. I had no nightmares and sometimes even forgot about looking for Tessa. We had just come back from watching the sun set with a local who had offered us a ride in his fishing boat. It was late and we crawled into bed right away. I fell asleep with a small smile and the feeling of the beach still engrained into my skin.
***
This dream was different. I was walking along the beach all by myself, enjoying the solitude. I had come to know this beach well and the familiar dock brought me comfort. Fishing boats were moored at the dock and bobbed up and down with the soft movement of the waves. Suddenly a figure that was standing on the dock caught my eye. It was a girl who looked so familiar but I couldn't put my finger on who it was. She was watching the water intently and was smiling softly. She looked so peaceful. She looked up and saw me standing at the edge of the dock. She smiled at me and I realized it was Alyse. She came towards me with her arms outstretched.
"Tayia!" She laughed. She came closer, and hugged me. "You saved my life. I will never forget that." She whispered into my ear. When she pulled back her face had changed into that of my best friends.
"Tessa." My voice caught in my throat at the sight of her smiling. "I missed you." I whispered at her as tears covered my vision. She smiled again.
"And I missed you." Her voice was musical and I wanted to never stop hearing it again.
"I knew I would find you." I cried.
"Yes. I knew too. But I can't stay."
"Why not Tessa? Please you can come traveling with us and meet my friends! I need you Tessa. I can't live without you. Please!" I whimpered.
"No I can't Tayia. You see, I have a restless soul. I can't stay."
"I can't do it without you." While I said this I was confused. She would come back. It wasn't like she would be gone forever.
"Yes you can Tayia. You are strong. You don't need me anymore." She started walking away from me but stopped and came back when I fell to my knees. She hugged me, and I could smell her distinct scent, something that smelled like a mix of flowers, laundry detergent and a bright sunny day. It calmed me.
"Whatever you do, remember it wasn't your fault."
"What wasn't my fault?" She shook her head.
"It wasn't your fault."
"Okay." With that she turned and walked away. I ran after her, but the sand seemed to trap me.
"No Tessa wait!" She turned and smiled and then a paper slipped from her fingers. She walked on and disappeared into a mist. I could suddenly move again, and crying I ran to the paper and picked it up. On it was a few simple sentences.
You have been holding on for to long. It's time to let me go Tayia. I love you, but let me go.
A sudden sense of peace filled me and I nodded.
"I'll let you go Tessa."
***
I bolted upright in bed, gasping for breath. My face was coated in tears and my head spun. Was it real? What had happened? Suddenly I had to get down to the dock. I ripped of my covers and bolted out of my room, and to the path that lead me to the beach.
"Tessa." Her name came between my gasps for breath as I sprinted down the path. My hair flew in my face, making it hard to see but I had to get there. Something inside me told me that if Tessa wasn't standing on that dock, I would never find her. I burst onto the beach and looked towards the dock. Empty. My lungs burned and I ran to the dock, finally collapsing onto the exact spot where she had been standing in my dream.
"Tessa." I rasped the word out between sobs. It was cruel that she had been right here, that I had hugged her, spoke to her, smelled her familiar scent. All to have that ripped away from me, to wake up and realize that it was not real. I cried for a long, long time. When I finally got control of my feelings, the sun was starting to rise. I looked up at the clouds and gasped. There right above me, was a cloud shaped like an angel. It was pink from the rising sun, and the sun rise shine brilliantly behind it. My voice caught in my throat, but suddenly a sense of calm seemed to wash over me. A certainty of what I had to do was in my mind as I rose to my feet.
"Ok Tessa. I'll let you go." I whispered and turned around to go back up to the bungalow. Once I reached the door, I turned to look at the sunrise again. The beauty of it still stole my breath away, but the cloud was gone. I sat there numbly beside the pool and watched the sun rise. Tears trickled down my face now and then. I heard movement behind me and turned to see Garrett standing there.
"Tayia?" He caught sight of my tear stained face and his own face fell. He walked quickly over to me and sat down beside me, wrapping me up in his arms. "What's wrong?"
"S-she is g-gone Garrett." I choked out.
"What do you mean?"
"I won't find her. She's gone."
"We will find her Tayia. I promise." He cooed.
"No. No you don't understand. I know she's gone. I know it now. I couldn't see it before, I was too desperate to have her here. But she's gone. I have to accept that and start letting go." He was silent for a long while and just stroked my hair while I sniffled into his chest.
"I need to get home. Right now." I whispered up at him.
"Then we'll go."
"I'm scared." He was silent as if thinking. He didn't ask me what I was scared of, and I was glad he didn't because I didn't even know.
"It's okay. I've got you." He finally whispered and I knew he did.
*****
About 7 hours later we were on the plane back to New York. The others hadn't even questioned me, even when I couldn't tell them my dream and why I felt like I had to go home so bad. They just understood. I would tell them someday, but for now, I just held the memory of Tessa's touch in my heart. We had decided to go to New York first. That way Garrett could get his vehicle and we could travel that way. He also said something about wrapping up gang business. As I gazed out at the clouds, my mind was a whirl of thoughts, but one stood out clear.
I'm going home. And I'm letting go.
****
Ok so there is the chapter that has been in the planning since I first started this book! We are super close to the end now, maybe about 4ish chapters left and the epilogue. I have to say I am very excited to write the last few chapters! I really hope this chapter is good, since I have planned it along with the last chapter and the epilogue since the first time I even had an idea for this book. Needless to say, I'm super excited about those two chapters and I hope I do them justice! Thanks for reading!
~S