Almost V

열아홉

"Not exactly.'

"Do you remember when your eomma had just won that big divorce case for that senator and was driving too fast on that icy road in Gangnam on the way to Mr. Kang's party and the car slid, and then, instead of easing us back on the road, she yanked the wheel and over steered in the other direction, and we overturned into the ditch?"

"Yeah," I said. We all nearly died. It was a nightmare. Hard to forget.

"Think about that."

Cryptic, but I got what he was saying. He thought I was shoring myself out with some stranger just for kicks. For a brief moment, I wanted to break down and tell him everything about Taehyung, that I wasn't oversteering and throwing caution to the wind. And for the love of guns, it had been four years! How long did I have to be in "trauma" mode? Wasn't I allowed to make some decisions for myself and enjoy life? I appreciated his heartfelt concern, but I knew what I was doing . . .

Mostly.

Anyway, that's all he said about it. Still, appa may be the nicest guy in the world, but he's no dummy. The day before I was scheduled to eat dinner at Anna's house, he suggested driving me over there so he could personally meet Anna's parents. What could possibly go wrong? When I told her, she laughed so hard and long, I worried she was having a stroke.

In the meantime, though my kiss-stung face has returned to normal, my heart and all working body parts are absolutely not normal. Because every time Taehyung so much even walks within 10 feet of me at work, I have the same reaction. Four knocks on Hotbox door? I flush. Scent of lavender in the break room? I flush. Sound of Taehyung cracking jokes with Yoongi in the hallway? I flush.

And every time this happens, Anna is there like some taunting Greek chorus, making a little mmm-hmm noise of confirmation.

Even Yoongi notices. "Are you ill, Miss Bae?"

"Yes," I tell him in the break room one day before work. "I'm apparently very ill in the worst way. And I want you to know that I didn't plan for this to happen. This was not part of my plan at all. If you want to know the truth, I had other plans for the summer!" I think of my boardwalk mao, lying folded and abandoned in my purse.

Yoongi nods slowly. "I have no idea what you mean, but I support it completely."

"Thank you," I tell him as he walks away, whistling.

Half a minute later, Taehyung pulls me into a dark corner of the hallway, checks around the corner, and kisses the crap out of me. "That's me, destroying all your other plans," he said wickedly. And if I didn't know any better, I'd think he sounds jealous. Then he walks away, leaving me all hot and bothered.

I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

Tuesday night at the Nguyen house comes. Anna's family lives in a nice part of town, in an abode-style house with perfectly manicured lawn. When appa and I ring the doorbell, my pulse rockets. Why oh why have I been using Anna as a cover for my time with Taehyung? That was so stupid, and now that everyone is meeting, I feel like we're going to get caught - which is the last thing I want to happen, for obvious reasons. And I because I don't want to mess up what I have going with Anna. She's the first decent friend I've had in a while.

Footfalls sound on the other side of the door. I think I might vomit.

The door swings open to reveal a Asian woman with long black hair with bangs. her smile is warm and welcoming. "You must be Suzy." not Anna's tiny voice, but definitely their Vietnamese accent.

I say hello and start to introduce appa when a broad-shouldered man appears behind her, wiping his hands with a towel. "This is her?" he says in a big, booming voice full of happiness. He smiles big and wide. "Hello, Suzy. Look at you, just like an model."