Confessions of a Death Eater

Part 10

Draco, you need to know this tiiiiny detail about that conversation: I lied. I’ve thought about my choices more than I’d care to admit. Before you talked with me, I never used to think I had a choice. Mum and Dad made sure of that, not to mention that mean Muggle woman who called me “freakish”. Now, I see that I always had a choice. What would I have been like if I took Andromeda’s path, away from dark magic and the prejudice we have against Muggles? I’d be unbelievably different, for certain.

You’re probably wondering, does this mean you would take everything back if you could? Well, I suppose that’s exactly what I’m saying. But it’s going to get worse, because the Dark Lord won’t let up on his orders. My niece, Nymphadora Tonks, has fought me before. Next time we duel, I have to end her life. Why? Not only is she in the Order of the Phoenix, but she married a werewolf. Werewolves are much filthier than Muggles and Mudbloods, I assure you. And they’re expecting a child which is due later this month! 

I don’t know who’s going to read this, but it’s worth writing all of it down on paper.  Andromeda, I hope somehow you can forgive me for everything. You were shunned by your family, your husband was killed recently, and soon, I’ll take your daughter away from you. Will you try to remember me as the kind girl I once was? And while I’m at it, Neville Longbottom, will you accept my deepest apologies? I wish I could undo the damage I did to your parents. It must be terrible to have parents who don’t know who you are.  You don’t need to forgive me. I wouldn’t forgive me.

Listen to me, Draco. I ran away from doing the right thing because I was scared out of it. That’s precisely what Lucius and Narcissa are doing to you. It’s far too late for me to go back, but it’s not too late for you. You’ll never understand how much remorse I’ve got locked up inside of me. This deadweight will burden me until my dying day, and it’s nothing short of torture. Save yourself from this feeling. Dare to be like your aunt Andromeda. See why I couldn’t let anybody find this until I was gone? Now you all know the truth. At least this made me feel somewhat less guilty. 

Most insincerely,

Bellatrix Lestrange