Every Moment I Treasure || JunSol

July 1, 2018

 Reference clip --> (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Evw_MKZ0KE) 

Part I    

Hansol

Hansol taps Jun's shoulder when they reach the top of the stairs, but Jun ignores his touch, only stooping to let Hansol clamber off his back once they're back in their room. "Thanks," Hansol murmurs, feeling slightly awkward. The tension is creeping in, now that it's just the two of them. The wrongness makes his skin itch—how can there be tension between him and Jun? The world feels offbeat. Jun shuts the door while Hansol hobbles two steps in, stripping out of his jacket and tossing it onto the futon.

He takes a deep breath, turns around. "Jun-ah."

"...wae?" Jun looks up cautiously from where he's still standing by the door, wearing the expression of a trapped animal.

"Jun-ah." Hansol repeats. "Recently, you...have you been avoiding me?"

"What? No." Jun says, but his eyes are darting to the side, and he can't meet Hansol's gaze. It's a strange reversal; usually Hansol's the one who has trouble with conversations, but that's because he's shy, whereas Jun is...well, he doesn't know what's going on with Jun right now, but he needs to know. Jun is performing some sort of weird, subtle, avoiding maneuver where during the day he's as touchy as usual, but at night he's conspicuously absent.

"Is this what you were asking about at the fan concert earlier?" Jun asks the floor. "About me coming home at dawn and sleeping in Marco's room?" This second question is barely more than a mumble.

"Mm." Hansol confirms. "Eujin-hyung is right, it makes no sense for you to sleep there." He pauses, but Jun is fidgeting, stalling for time by changing out of his shirt, and so he forges on. "Do you not like me taking care of you? Is that why you're running to Marco? I don't understand, and it hurts."

The raw honesty makes Jun meet Hansol's eyes, and Hansol's heart skips a beat out of surprise. "Hyung, I'm sorry. I really didn't know you were upset. I didn't intend to make you sad." The words are sincere, and Hansol can hear the distress shading the apology. But then Jun's gaze shifts away again, resting briefly on Hansol's leg, still encased in a brace, and Hansol realizes that despite the apology he is no less confused.

"Jun. Talk to me." Hansol is surprised when his voice comes out firm, forcing an answer out of Jun.

"You taking care of me during my insane schedule...it means so much to me. Sometimes I'm so tired that it makes me feel lonely, but you fill up the emptiness." Jun's voice is quiet, low, and he's wringing his T-shirt in a rare, outward display of anxiety. His shoulders are hunched slightly forward, making him look smaller, lost. "But lately, I feel like...I'm afraid of becoming a burden to you. I'm so afraid that you'll come to resent me. Especially after you hurt your leg—how can I make you take care of me, when you already have so much to worry about? You were already losing sleep from me coming and going at random hours in the night for the drama filming. I've made you suffer enough, haven't I?" Jun peeks upwards. "Besides, Marco and Kijung are really deep sleepers. I'm definitely not disturbing them."

Hansol just stares, turning Jun's words over in his mind for a moment. He lets out a sigh. "Jun-ah. Just come back to me." He takes a step closer. "None of that matters at all. I want you to come home to me, not someone else." He refuses to let go of Jun's gaze, drawing closer until they're only a hands-width apart. "Jun."

"Okay," Jun whispers. His eyes look faintly shiny. Hansol closes the gap between them, gently tugs the t-shirt out of Jun's hands, and envelops Jun in his own arms. Jun releases a shaky breath, and then he lets go and gives himself over to Hansol, slumping forwards into Hansol's embrace and burying his nose in Hansol's hair. Hansol squeezes Jun tighter, running a comforting hand up and down the warm skin of Jun's bare back. I'm here, he tries to say. He wants Jun to know with his whole body, with his whole heart, that Hansol is here, always. "You're not a burden." Hansol whispers fiercely. "You need to stop thinking that way. You will never be a burden to me."