Infinity: A Jenlisa AU

Chapter 7

There's a long pause while Lisa searches Jennie's eyes, maybe to confirm that she's serious.

She finally says, "It was spring, I think. We hadn't seen each other in a while, and we hadn't really spoken since we went our separate ways all those years ago. I had been following your success, of course. I was always so proud of you." Lisa stopped and let out a small smile towards Jennie. The latter felt her heart constricting. God. I'm so in love with you.

"Anyway, you showed up at my studio one night. Out of the blue. Said you'd been thinking about me lately, and at first I thought you were just trying to hook up with an old flame, but this was something else. You seriously don't remember any of this?"

"It's like I wasn't even there." Jennie confirmed.

"We started talking about your research, how you were involved with this project that was under wraps, and you said—I remember this very clearly— you said you probably wouldn't see me again. And I realized that you hadn't stopped by to catch up. You had come to say goodbye. Then you told me that our existence was all about choices and that you had blown some of them, but none so badly as with me. You said you were sorry for everything. It was very emotional. You left, and I didn't hear from you or see you again until tonight. Now I have a question for you."

"Okay." Between the booze and trying to unpack what Lisa's telling Jennie, the latter is reeling.

"When you saw me tonight at the reception, the first thing you asked me was if I knew where was I, why is that?"

One of the things Jennie love most about Lisa is her honesty. She has a direct link hardwired from her heart to her mouth. No filter, no self-revision. She says what she feels, without a shred of guile or cunning. She works no angles.

So when Jennie looks at Lisa's eyes and see that she's utterly sincere, it nearly breaks her.

"It doesn't matter," Jennie mumbles.

"Obviously, it does. We haven't seen each other in a year and a half and that's the first thing you ask me?"

Jennie looked around the room. Trying to gain some courage to tell the truth. It took her seconds before answering, and when she did, she looked straightly onto Lisa's eyes, "I'm your wife."

The color leaves Lisa's face but Jennie wanted to say it out loud since Rosé said that they are together. She couldn't bear at the thought. It killed her for hours. She was Lisa's, Jennie would like to believe, she still is.

"Hold on," Rosé says, her words sharp. "I thought we were just having a hypothetical friendly conversation. What is this?" She looks at Lisa then back to Jennie. "Is this a joke?"

"No, it's not."

With a crack in her voice, Lisa started to talk, "We broke up, and you know it. We haven't been together for years. You know this, Jennie." Lisa swallowed. "You know this."

Jennie suppose she could try to convince Lisa right now. She know so much about this woman—secrets from her childhood that she only revealed in the last five years of their marriage. But she worry these "revelations" would backfire. That Lisa wouldn't see them as proofs, but sleights of hand. Parlor tricks. Jennie's betting the best approach to persuade her wife is telling the truth with clear-eyed sincerity. 

She says, "Here's what I know, Lisa. You and I live in our apartment in Seoul. I'm a middling professor at Yonsei. You're an amazing wife who sacrificed her dance career because your agency found out about our relationship. And you, Rosé, You're a famous neuroscientist. You won a Pavia Prize. You've lectured all over the world. And I know this sounds absolutely crazy, but I don't have a brain tumor, no one is messing with me, and I haven't lost my mind."