Distastefully In Love

Chapter 13: The Bound Touch

He is about to defend himself further, when he decides it isn't worth it. If Spencer really isn't going to believe him, after he flat out told her he didn't do it, then he isn't going to try and make it better. He isn't going to stand here, and beg for a chance to plead his case. No, why should he?

"Fine," he gets out, his husky voice, breathy. "Believe whatever the hell you want," he declares.

...

Spencer kissed him. She kissed him. And sure he kissed her back, but she initiated it. It isn't that he hasn't thought of it before. The possibility of her lips on his, the arrangement of his hands on her hips. Of course it has crossed his mind. But he always thought it was just one of those weird fantasies that had no inclination of coming true. But here he is, the taste of her lip gloss—cherry, he thinks—on his lips.

Is that why she wanted him to go up there? Because she wanted to hook up with him?

The thought had crossed his mind, but once again, it seemed farfetched.

He noticed the chemistry between them. The tension, the longing stares. But he never imagined anything would prolong these gestures. He wasn't planning on crossing that line, mostly because it is Spencer. And she, kind of, frightens him in a way that makes his insides twist.

Or she did, anyways. Maybe he feels that way again, he isn't sure. But the fear of rejection was certainly apparent. He wasn't planning on crossing the line. Sure, he would toy with her—make bets involving kisses, flirt with her—confuse her, by doing so. But he never intended to go beyond that, because the line beyond that was stepping into a field of possible rejection. Somewhere he didn't want to be. She already hurt him in high school, and he didn't want to feel that way again. But now, everything has changed. She kissed him, and it was one hell of a kiss, at that. It isn't possible that she felt nothing, when he felt everything.

He taps his steering wheel, unmoving—not even thinking about starting the engine.

She kissed him.

And damn it if it wasn't one of the best kisses he has ever had.

...

"Is Toby going?"

That's what she asked Hanna when she invited her to go to her and Caleb's 'hello new home' party. Which was really just a house warming party, but Hanna insisted Spencer call it that.

Spencer knew it was petty to ask, but she wasn't ready to confront Toby. He would question her about the kiss, or at least bring it up, and Spencer still didn't know how she felt about him. Or she did...but she wasn't exactly sure how he felt about her, and she was not going to humiliate herself in front of Toby Cavanaugh. Even though she is pretty sure he wouldn't just laugh in her face. Under all that sarcasm, there is someone sweet—someone who is loyal, and kind, and...ugh.

But he kissed her back, right? He kissed her back...and kissed her back, good. It's like his lips knew exactly what to do—his tongue knew exactly where to go, exactly how to move. Snap out of it, Spencer.

But the question still remained: did he actually have feelings for her, or was he just playing the role of the typical guy?

She hadn't figured it out, and she wasn't willing to ask, so that's why she asked Toby was going. If he was, she wasn't.

"No," Hanna had told her.

But Hanna lied. She lied, and Spencer believed her.

Now Spencer is at this party, Toby Cavanaugh darting through a group of people to meet her.