While I'm Alive

Chapter Twenty Five

The beeping of her heart monitor was what woke her up. The loud, high pitched screech of the machine every single time her heart pumped blood to her body. It made her head pound.
She peeled her eyes open, the dry burn forcing her to squeeze them shut once more before forcing them open again. Her surroundings were blurry at first but slowly came into focus. She saw Alex on the other side of the room sitting in the chair in a way that made Norma cringe. She knew he would be in pain when he woke up.
She tried to open her mouth to say something but it was like she didn't have any control at all.
Alex slowly wakes up and looks over to see Norma's tired blue eyes staring at him. He quickly rushes to her side, grabbing her cold, small hand in his warm one.
"Hey there." he whispers, placing a kiss on her hand.
"You're okay. You gave us quite a scare." he tells her.
She tried to smile but she doesn't think her mouth moved at all.
"The doctor said you would be groggy for a bit. But you're gonna get better." he tells her, sensing her unease.
"Mrs. Romero." the doctor begins.
Norma would smile if she could. It was the first time she had been referred to as Mrs. Romero. She liked it a lot more than she thought she would.
"I'm Dr. Kent. I'm just going to take some blood from your arm. It's just going to be a bit of pressure." he tells her as he begins cleaning the crease of her elbow.
Norma's eyes stay focused on Alex, trying to make any sort of sound. It was starting to frighten her, the way she wasn't in control of her body.
"Is she alright?" Alex asks the doctor as he stares at his scared wife.
"Her vitals are normal. When the blood work comes back, we should know more." he tells Alex.
"But...I don't think she can talk." Alex says with worry.
The doctor finishes taking her blood and steps back to actually look at Norma. He shines a flashlight in her eyes and then slides it back in his pocket before taking her hands.
"Mrs. Romero, I need you to push against my hands as hard as you can. Alright?" the doctor requests.
"Ready? Go." he says, still holding her hands. Nothing in Norma's appearance changes. The doctor slowly sets her arms down and writes something down on a notepad.
"She may still be drowsy. Give her some time to come back. She's been through a lot." the doctor tells him. Alex nods sadly as he glances back at his wife.
"I'll give you two some time." Dr. Kent says before walking out.
Alex slowly stands up, taking her hand in his. He sits beside her on the bed, his brown eyes staring at their intertwined fingers sadly. Norma wanted so badly to reach out and comfort him. To tell him how much she loved him and how grateful she was to have him by her side. She doesn't know what she would've done if he hadn't been there to take care of her.
"I know you can't talk right now and...and we both know that I'm not very good with my words but...but I want you to know that I love you. And I'm not going anywhere." he says softly, the tears running down his cheeks.
Her hand lightly squeezes his, making him look up at her and smile.
"I know you're in there, Norma Louise." he tells her.
He lays down beside her, taking her in his arms. Her head rests on his chest while his fingers run through her blonde locks. The soothing motion quickly puts her to sleep. It was only in her dreams that she felt normal again. She was safe from herself when she was asleep.
Or she used to be.
That didn't seem to be the case anymore. Even in her dreams, she could hear the voices. Telling her that she wasn't good enough for Alex.
That he would leave her eventually.
And then she would be left to die alone.
When she awoke from her nightmare, she was alone in her bed. Alex was across the room bent over the sink, splashing cold water on his face. He sighed heavily and let his face fall into his hands.
She could hear his soft sobs which completely shattered her heart.
"Don't cry." she whispers, making him jump and turn around.
He quickly rushes to her and grabs her face, pressing his lips against hers. She kissed him back sloppily, her face still a little numb.
"I missed you." he whispers against her lips.
"I love you, Alex. I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know when I will lose my ability to speak again so I just..I want you to know that I love you." she tells him quickly.
"I know, baby." he tells her just as quickly. Neither of them knew how much time they had left together before her body turned on her.
"And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"
"No, no. Don't be." he says, brushing the hair away from her face.
"Alex, I need you to make sure they save our baby. No matter what." she begins.
"What?" he asks.
"And...I know it's early but I want you to pick out the name. And I want you to know that you're going to be the best father for our baby." she continues, wiping away the tears that run down Alex's cheeks.
"Norma what're you doing?" he whispers.
"Don't let our little girl talk back to you, okay? Because I know she's going to be stubborn-"
"Stop. Please." Alex begs.
"And if it's a boy, you raise him to be respectful. Make sure he treats girls right. If he is half the man you are, then you've done something right."
Her heart rate picks up and she can feel the familiar feeling of fuzziness before a seizure. She tried her best to push it aside. She needed to say these things before she couldn't anymore.
"Promise you'll remember me." she asks.
"Don't make me promise that." he begs.
She looks at him with hurt. Why wouldn't he want to remember her?
"People only ask you to remember them if they're planning on leaving. If you're planning on leaving, please don't ask me to remember it." he begs her.
"Don't leave me." he finishes.
"Alex-"
"Norma, you're not gonna die." he tells her.
"We don't know that." she tells him, her hands brushing his dark, thick hair back from his forehead. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, before continuing.
"I need you to be strong for Dylan and Norman. I know Norman isn't in his right mind right now but...it would really help me if you could go visit him." she tells Alex.
"I will, honey." he tells her, noticing her heart rate still picking up.
"Try to calm down, alright? Deep breaths." he instructs her, his eyes glancing with worry between her and her heart monitor.
"Take care of Emma. She's been through a lot and...and...and she needs someone to..." she trails off, the fuzziness taking over as her eyes roll back in her head and she begins convulsing once again.
"No, no. Nurse! Help!" Alex shouts, moving her pillows away from her and turning her on her side.
Multiple nurses rush in and begin pushing Alex out of the way to aid his wife. Alex resisted the two nurses who were pushing against him, his eyes never leaving Norma's shaking body. Her convulsions were becoming more violent and more frequent.
"What's happening?" Dylan asks from the hall behind Alex.
"Sheriff Romero, you can't be in here." one of the nurses tells him.
Dylan grabs his arms and helps the nurses pull his step father out of the room. Dylan had never seen the sheriff look so lost and pained.
"Alex what happened?" Dylan asks again.
Alex doesn't respond, his sad eyes still focused on the closed door in front of him. Emma steps in front of Alex, taking his face in her hands.
"Alex. Can you tell us what happened? Is Norma okay?" Emma asks slowly.
"She was talking and...and then she...she started shaking." he says slowly, his voice coming out very quietly and broken.
"It's alright. The nurses and doctors will figure out what's wrong and they'll help her. She'll be alright." Emma tells him encouragingly.
All Alex can do is nod, hoping Emma was right. Once the nurses and doctors file out, the three of them quickly walk in to find her hooked up to many machines. She had breathing tubes in her nose and wires taped to her temples. Dr. Kent was still hooking some machines up to her when they walked in.
"Doc, what's all this?" Dylan asks, sitting beside his mother.
"The blood test was inconclusive. We are ruling out any bacterial infection. Bipolar disorder is our main diagnosis as of now. Though I want to do some neurological testing based off of the voices that she has mentioned hearing." Dr. Kent says casually as he finishes hooking up her IV.
"Voices?" Emma asks with worry.
"They talk to me." Norma says, finally speaking up.
"They think I can't hear them. I can hear them." she says angrily.
"I can hear you talking about me!" she shouts, looking around wildly.
"You've never mentioned these voices before." Alex tells her with confusion.
Norma laughs softly and shakes her head.
"You don't understand." she says.
"Is it better to out monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?" she asks, silently weighing both options.
She begins to laugh again harder than she has laughed in a long time. Suddenly, her laughter stops and she looks around at them as if they had each slapped her in the face.
"Get out." she says softly.
"Norma-"
"I don't want to talk to you anymore." she says angrily, tears running down her cheeks.
"Norma, honey-" Alex says, reaching over to cup her cheek. She flinches away.
"What're you doing? Sheriff, why are you touching me?" she cries out with fear.
"Norma, I'm your husband." he says with confusion.
"No you're not. Leave me alone! All of you! Just leave!" she shouts, her fists pounding against the bed beside her.
"Go! Now!" she shouts. They quickly leave the room, careful not to upset her and make her seize again.