While I'm Alive

Chapter Twenty One

She didn't know what time it was when she felt Alex sit next to her on the bed. She was already asleep but she had always been a light sleeper. He lays down on top of the covers, still in his uniform, and wraps his arms around Norma's body.
"I'm sorry." he whispers when he feels her grab his forearms. She turns her head to look at him and give him a soft kiss.
"It's your job. You had to." she says, no longer angry. He smiles and places a kiss on her cheek.
"I should let you sleep." Alex says, sitting up.
They had never discussed boundaries so naturally, Alex respectfully chose to sleep in Dylan's room. Norma wasn't having it.
"Stay." she tells him, sitting up.
"Don't go. We just got married, Alex. I want you to stay." she tells him.
"I don't think it would be a good idea." he tells her.
"Okay." she says, not wanting to pressure him. If he didn't want her then she wouldn't throw herself at him.
"Goodnight." she says, placing a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth. He catches the back of her neck before she can pull away.
"Goodnight." he says, placing a soft kiss on her lips. She pulls away slowly, looking into his dark eyes. She had never seen them so dark.
"Okay." she whispers, glancing down at his lips.
"Okay." he whispers back. She slowly leans in again, gently pressing her lips against his. Only this time, when she tried to pull away from him, he followed her until she was laying against her pillows and he was hovering over her.
Her hands found their way into his hair while he kicked off his shoes and climbed further onto the bed. His hand slid down her side slowly until it reached the end of her nightgown.
"We should stop." Alex says as he kisses down her neck.
"Yeah." she says back, her body saying differently.
""We need...to take this...slow." he says in between kisses. She gasps when his teeth graze the side of her neck.
"Yes." she breathes out sharply. His hand dips under her nightgown and he slides two fingers into her, making her gasp and arch her back.
"I don't want to rush into anything." he says while he continues his movements. He pulls back and watches her as she writhes under his touch.
"Alex." she gasps, squeezing her eyes shut. She finally grabs his wrist, stopping his movements.
"Take off your clothes." she tells him.
"I thought we weren't rushing-"
"We are adults, Alex. We are married. We have been taking it slow this entire time. Now are you going to keep taking it slow? Or are you going to take off your clothes?" she asks, sitting up. Alex blushes at her boldness but quickly begins removing his uniform.
"Alex?" Norma asks, fearing she might've overdone it again. He stops taking off his pants and looks up at her.
"I-I love you. And...thank you." she says shyly.
"For what?" he asks with confusion.
"For making sure that I am comfortable with all of this." she says, grabbing his hand. He smiles and places a kiss on the back of her hand before climbing back over to her.
And even though Norma had said she was done taking it slow with Alex, the way he slowly touched her was perfect. Every kiss he placed on her skin, every time his eyelashes fluttered against her cheek, every word he whispered into her ear, it was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It had her gripping onto his shoulders while her body was pressed beneath his as if he was all she had to keep her from drowning.
Their sweaty bodies were left intertwined, their breathing heavy from all of the exertion. Norma smiles as she stares at their intertwined fingers.
"This isn't real." Alex says softly, his thumb rubbing hers.
"What?" she asks.
"This. Me being here with you. I've dreamt it before. It doesn't feel real." he tells her. She smiles widely.
"You've dreamt it before?" she asks.
"Of course. You had to have known how much I liked you. I mean what cop would break the law so many times for a woman he barely knew?" Alex says with a smirk.
"I thought you were just being friendly." Norma says with a shrug. Alex chuckles and kisses her forehead.
"Do you want to talk now? Finish what we started earlier? About what Emma said?" Norma asks, hoping to get some answers from him.
"Let's get some sleep. We can talk in the morning." Alex says, closing his eyes.
Unfortunately, by the time Norma woke up the next morning, Alex was already gone for work. Things went this way for a while: Alex getting home late, Norma wanting to talk about kids but getting shut down each time.
Until one day, Alex finally had the day off. Norma was overjoyed and had a whole day planned out for them. Most of it involved having sex.
"So I was thinking we could go down to the pond. There's a really nice garden growing around it. I was going to jot down some flowers I want to add to my garden." Norma says as she helps him make breakfast. She had been teaching Alex how to cook various meals.
"Oh." he says, flipping a pancake.
"What?" Norma asks, sensing his mood.
"I just didn't know we were going out today." he says honestly. She stops pouring the orange juice and turns to him.
"Do you not want to?" she asks.
"I was sort of wanting to stay in and relax. Spend most of our time in bed." he tells her honestly. She nods slowly, pursing her lips as she thinks about it.
"If that's what you want." she says, turning back to the orange juice.
"Norma-"
"Alex, it's fine. We will stay. Whatever." she says, putting the orange juice back in the fridge.
"No we can go."
"Alex." she stops him, turning to look at him.
"We are staying in. I am fine with it. You need relaxation. I get it." she tells him. He nods and goes back to making breakfast.
"Why don't you go upstairs and I will finish making this and bring it to bed." Norma offers, taking the spatula out of his hand.
"What? You don't like my pancakes?" Alex asks with a smile as he looks at the burnt side of the pancake he just flipped.
"You're getting better." she tells him. He laughs and steps back from the stove to let her in.
"See you in a bit." he says, walking out of the kitchen.
By the time Norma brings the tray of food up, Alex is already fast asleep in her bed. She smiles and sets the tray aside and pulls the covers up over his body before leaving.
She had never known how hard Alex worked before she was married to him. It was like he never slept. He came home after midnight and left before the sun rose again.
It wasn't always like this, Alex had reassured her of that. But they had been working on a case of a missing girl for a while now and they were beginning to find more and more evidence of where she might be.
So she understood why Alex slept through most of the day, waking up only to eat some food here and there.
"I'm going into town for some groceries." Norma says when he wakes up. She was sitting at her vanity fixing her curls when she saw him roll over to face her.
"Do you need anything?" she adds, looking at him through the mirror.
"I'm sorry." he tells her, his eyes slipping shut.
"For what?" she asks, putting her earrings in.
"For sleeping through the only day we have together." he says sleepily. She smiles and walks over to the bed. Her hand gently pushes his thick hair away from his forehead and her lips press against his soft skin just above his eyebrows.
"Get some more sleep, dear. I'll be back soon." she whispers. He smiles and nods slowly, his breathing becoming deeper as he succumbs back to sleep.
Norma quietly slips out of her room and takes a deep breath, realizing that she just lied to her husband for the first time since they've been married.
Nevertheless, she rushes down the stairs and out the door. She couldn't seem to get to Pineview quick enough. She didn't know why she felt the need to lie about going to visit Norman. Maybe because she knew Alex wouldn't think it was a good idea. Because it wasn't a good idea, her going to see him. He didn't want to see her. He made that clear before he left.
"I'm here to see Norman Bates." Norma says when she reaches the front desk.
"He's in a session right now, ma'am. He should be out shortly. If you would like, you can wait in the waiting room." the woman offers. Norma smiles and nods before walking to the waiting room. She was only in there for a few seconds before she saw Norman walk down the hall. She smiles when she catches his eye. She waves and begins to walk toward him but he makes no effort to move toward her.
"Hi, honey." she says, pulling him in for a hug. His arms remain by his sides as she pulls away. She looks into his eyes which stare emotionlessly at her.
"Norman, honey, why are you being like this?" she asks, taking his face into her hands. He grabs her wrists and pulls them away while he steps back.
"I've told you, mother, I think we need time apart. We can't have time apart if you show up here unannounced." he tells her. Her eyebrows scrunch together with confusion.
"Norman, where is my loving little boy? I'm still your mother." she tells him, her voice sounding pained.
"I'm not the same boy I was, mother. I'm ill. Sheriff Romero and my therapist both made that very clear." he tells her.
"Sheriff Romero? What did Alex say to you?" she asks, narrowing her eyes.
"Just that I need help. That I am not well and that you can't help me like the people here can." Norman tells her. Norma nods slowly, feeling angered for some reason.
"He was right. You can't help. If anything I think you're doing more harm. So I would like for you to leave. And if I feel the need to see you, I will reach out. Good day." he says, swiftly walking around her.
Norma felt frozen with shock. It was like she didn't mean anything to him. All those years of cuddling and watching movies together and laughing and singing....they meant nothing to him. Like they didn't even happen. She hated this new version of him. And she hated that she sent him here.
On the way home, the anger continued to build up. She was angry with him and the institution. She was angry with herself. She was angry with Alex for taking Norman to Pineview and for marrying her so she could get him in.
When she got home, she was angered even more when she found out that he had gone to work again. He left a note near the front door for her to read.
Norma-
Got called in to work. Sorry for sleeping so long. I love you and miss you. x
-Alex
She sighs and crumpled the paper up with anger. She stomps her way up the stairs and into her bedroom. The room smelt of him, making her heart skip a beat. Even when she was angry with him, she couldn't help but feel weak at the knees when thinking of him. She glances down at the crumbled note in her hand and slowly unrolls it. She places it in the top drawer of her vanity with the rest of the notes he has written to her, including the check he gave her for his stay at the motel before they were dating.
She knew she couldn't yell at him even if he was here. She had lied about where she was going. He would be so upset if he knew that she lied to him.
She couldn't take the guilt that was spreading through her body. She suddenly felt claustrophobic in her small room. So she left. Not just her room but her house entirely. She drove down into town and parked near the docks, the ocean breeze hitting her face as she steps out of her car. It calmed her just a bit, allowing her to shut her eyes and bask in the warmth of the sun.
"You're Norma Bates, right?"
Norma opens her eyes and finds a beautiful red headed woman smiling at her with red stained lips.
"Yes." Norma says warily.
"Sorry, I just...I heard about you a while back. When you called Lee Berman a dick." the woman says with a laugh.
"Oh. Right." Norma says with embarrassment.
"I'm Rebecca Hamilton." the woman says, sticking her hand out to Norma. Norma freezes at first at the sound of her name but quickly takes her hand.
"Rebecca. Nice to meet you." Norma says.
"You too."
"Do you...do you happen to know Sheriff Romero?" Norma asks, pulling her hand back. Surely it wasn't the same Rebecca. Hopefully not. This woman was so pretty, she almost made Norma feel bad about herself.
"Alex? Yeah I know Alex." Rebecca says with a knowing smile.
"H-How well?" Norma asks.
"I would say pretty well. Why?" she asks.
"I was just wondering." Norma says casually.
"Do you know him well?" Rebecca asks. Norma laughs and nods.
"I should hope so. He's my husband." Norma says, the words sounding foreign but she liked it. What she didn't like was the look of shock and hurt on Rebecca's face.
"Husband? I-I-I didn't know he was married. Congratulations." she says, not sounding sincere.
"I should get going." Rebecca says, quickly walking away before Norma could say more. This brief encounter only made her more uneasy. Why did this woman look so betrayed by the thought of Alex and Norma being married? Surely Alex wouldn't see this woman behind Norma's back, would he?
He seemed to always avoid the topic of Rebecca. It would make sense. Norma had never felt so confused and hurt. It was a pain that she could feel physically in her chest and stomach. The only thing she could do was to get back into her car and drive home to sleep her worries away.

Quick update because I know I am about to get busy again. Anyways, enjoy!