While I'm Alive

Chapter Twenty Four

"Tell me what's been going on." the doctor begins, his reading glasses sitting on top of his nose, covering his aged, green eyes. A strand of his gray hair hung over his forehead while he stared down at his notepad, ready to write down any information he felt necessary to document.
"Over the past few weeks I haven't been able to eat, sleep or concentrate. I smile, I cry, I laugh, I'm happy, I'm sad. My poor husband is so patient with me, always caring for me." Norma says softly as she wrings her hands in her lap.
"And these seizures-"
"Seizure. There's just been one." she corrects him.
"This seizure. It was...unexpected, yes?" he asks.
"Yes. I've never had seizures before. I've never even fainted before. My son, though...he has these blackouts. I'm not sure if maybe it's genetics-"
"I don't believe so. I studied up on your son and what he has...his symptoms seem to be very different from yours." he assures her.
"Have you ever felt like this before?" he asks her, writing little notes on the paper.
"No."
"Have you ever had...suicidal thoughts?" he asks her.
Her mind jumps to the time she was married to Sam. He was so abusive towards her. She then remembers her time with Zach Shelby and everything she has gone through since she moved here.
"Everyone daydreams of dying." she admits quietly.
"But...I have Alex and my two boys and...and I don't want to die." she finishes.
He nods, his pen quickly writing thoughts onto his paper. He finishes and looks up at her as if he were analyzing her.
"I'm seeing signs of mixed episodes. Extreme highs and very low lows. However, you've had a lot going on in your life. That may come off as manic and depressive elements, typical of bipolar disorder. But just because you've got a bruise, doesn't mean you've been punched. I'm prescribing Olanzapine. It's an anti-psychotic to help with your mood and thought disorders. Take these pills and then we can schedule a follow up appointment to see how you're doing."

"Emma and Dylan are waiting for you." he tells her as he runs his fingers through her blonde locks. Her head was rested on his chest as they lay in bed together.
"They drove out here to visit?" she asks with surprise.
"Of course." he tells her, glancing down at her as she stares out the bedroom window.
"You know Norman would be here if he could-"
"You don't know anything about him." Norma tells him calmly as she sits up and scoots off of the bed.
"Okay." Alex says, trying to keep her calm. He slides off the bed and slips his hand into hers, pulling her out of the room.
"Long time, no see." Dylan says as she descends the stairs.
"I feel like you guys have gotten bigger." Norma says, giving each of them a hug.
"It hasn't been that long, Norma." Emma says with a soft laugh.
"Feels like it has. So much has changed." Norma says, her hand stroking her slightly extended belly. Emma smiles and looks down at Norma's belly.
"Is it too early to know the gender?" she asks.
"A bit. But I think it's a boy." Norma says, looking over at Alex with a smile.
"Another boy?" Emma asks with a light laugh.
"He'll be a handsome, well mannered little boy. Just like his father." Norma says as she reaches over to grab Alex's hand.
Alex had learned to roll with her mood swings. He places a kiss on the back of her hand before pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arm around her waist.
"Who knows, maybe some day he will have a little sister to protect." Alex adds, surprising Norma.
"Another baby?" she asks.
He shrugs, a soft smile on his face.
"We, uh...we made some pasta. We weren't sure if you would be hungry, so..." Dylan trails off, glancing over at the pan of pasta on the dining room table.
"Pasta." Norma says, forcing a smile.

The dining room was filled with silence other than the sound of metal utensils clanking against the glass dishes. Everyone was watching Norma carefully and discreetly. She didn't seem to notice, she was too absorbed in her own thoughts.
"I...The doctors said it was caused by stress." she says suddenly.
"Right. So we need to take it easy-"
"We?" Norma asks, looking up at Alex.
"I'm sorry, did you have the seizure too?" she asks him.
"I'm sorry. I meant that we all need to make sure we are helping you out so that you're not stressed." he corrects himself calmly.
One thing he remembered from his childhood was that he always had to be calm when he spoke with his mother. She was so fragile, the slightest tone in his voice could set her off. He wouldn't let the same mistakes happen with Norma.
"I'm not stressed." she whispers, shaking her head.
"I-I was stressed. I was." she admits, nodding her head as she twirls the pasta around on her fork. She sets the fork down with a clank as she looks around.
"It was the party. That we were throwing for you, Alex. That's what it was." she says with realization.
"I was so stressed about telling you about the baby. That must've been it." Norma says with a soft laugh.
"Yeah. Yeah, maybe." Alex says softly, watching the wheels turn in her head.
"No." she whispers, glaring down at her plate.
"No, that wasn't it." she says, looking up at Alex.
"It was the motel. And...and Norman. I-I-I was so stressed about Norman and the marriage and the motel!" she tells them.
Emma looks to Dylan with fear, making him reach over and take her hand to comfort her. He was afraid himself. He had seen his mother act crazy but this was a new level. He felt as though she might be joining Norman in the institution if she kept this up.
"It's okay, Norma." Alex says, reaching over to rub her shoulder.
"No. No, no, no, no." she says, shaking her head.
"It's the baby. I was stressed because of the baby. I'm not ready." she says with fear, her breathing picking up.
"Norma, it's okay." Alex tries again.
"It's alright."
"No! I'm not ready! I'm not ready." she continues.
"I'm not...I'm..." she trails off.
Her body stiffens and her eyes roll back. She falls to the ground and begins seizing violently once again.
"Norma!" Alex shouts, rushing to her aid.
"Oh my god!" Emma says, standing up with her hand covering her mouth. Dylan jumps up and runs around the table to help.
"Call an ambulance." Alex tells Emma.
She quickly pulls her phone out and walks into the kitchen, her breathing ragged. She glances back at her boyfriend who is still bent over his convulsing mother. She had never seen Norma like this. It scared her to the core.
The sirens were too loud for Emma's liking. They always had been. The lights too bright and the sirens too loud. She had been in her fair share of ambulances and they had always frightened her. But this frightened her more than anything.
She had always seen Norma as a mother figure and to see her go through all of this broke her heart. Not to mention the fact that she had just found love and was about to start up her life with Alex. The poor woman just couldn't catch a break.
Emma's eyes shifted from Norma's body which was on the stretcher over to Alex. She had never seen the usually strong and stoic man look so pained. His whole self was laid out on a stretcher in front of him. She was everything he had. He had waited so long for Norma and now here he was fearing that she might be taken away from him.
"I'm right here, baby." he whispers to her.
Norma's chapped lips part but she doesn't say anything. Her tired blue eyes looks up at him and begin to tear up when she realizes how much Alex is going through because of her.
"I love you. I love you so much." he tells her, wiping away the tears that escape from her eyes.