𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬┊✓

t h i r t y o n e » s h e m o m e d j a m o

"Adrianna, I'm so sorry," he said softly with a frown, "Your father was an honourable man."

Just hearing him say those words sent me into another loud sob. Already, the words 'Adrianna... your dad... dead' were on a repeating loop in my head. I lowered my head in my hands and furiously shook my head.

"H-he can't be dead, w-we were a-at the ce-cemetery this mor-morning," I cried and my voice came out muffled and scratchy. I was the downright definition of miserable.

He slowly pried my hands away from my face and tilted my chin up so our eyes would meet again. "Adrianna," he frowned deeply. And that hurt me. It hurt me because such a frown didn't belong on his beautiful face.

"Phoenix," I let out another cry as my eyes clouded over with fresh tears. I felt like I was being choked. Suffocated. Burned. And I think, the most painful part was reliving every single moment I'd ever share with my dad from the very start all in my head.

"Adrianna, talk to me," the boy I was currently situated on top of pleaded. He looked at a loss for both words and actions. He didn't know what to say, what to do. I wouldn't either.

"My father can't be dead," I whispered.

"Chérie, he died in a car accident," he whispered back. My eyes widened and next, I felt the most agonizing feeling I'd ever felt. It was really as if someone was choking me, strangling me, slowly ending my life. Something cut right through me, pierced right through my insides and I felt as though my soul was slowly being taken away from me. Oh my god. He was taken just the same way as mom.

"Mama," I cried softly. I was losing all emotion, becoming numb to no end, I was meeting my breaking point. Phoenix instantly wrapped him arms around me and pulled me flush against his chest, "I'm sorry," his voice cracked. My soft cries became full on sobs once again and I wasn't sure how much else I'd be able to handle. This wasn't fair. I had no other family besides my dad; I was lonely alone now.

"Adrianna, you need to talk to me, please," Phoenix begged while I shook my head. My head throbbed as it rushed with blood and I recalled all sorts of memories, ones locked all the way in the back of my mind and ones that were more recent.

"I-I, I don't know what to say?" I cried, becoming confused, "M-my dad is dead," I whisper all wobbly, "He died the same way my mama did," I mutter.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours," his voice a whisper.

"I-I just have all these memories rushing through my mind that I shared with my dad, and now memories of mom are resurfacing."

"My dad's dead," the words fall out of my mouth unintentionally and sound like the ghost of the words itself. I didn't know how to handle this, clearly, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to. I was barely able to keep myself alive after my mother, what's to happen with my father. At my mother's funeral, I'd barely gotten out three words of my eulogy - that happened to be three pages - she'd made me promise I'd write when her time would come before I blacked out on stage. And after that, it was all downhill, blacking out and fainting almost every other day, losing my appetite completely, it was wonders really that I was still alive.

I buried my mom at the age of fifteen, here I was three years later, burying my father at eighteen. I buried both of my parents before I'd even graduated high school. Before I got my degrees in college. Before I got married and had a family of my own.