"You can't love someone back to life, Israfil." She whispered. Her chest heaved with desperation, her heart throbbing against her rib cage.
He shook his head, "You can try," Israfil responded softly. "Let me love you, Farah."
-
In a society of lies...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
chapter twenty nine - air
song of the chapter ; i'm a mess - bebe rexha
--
"YOU'RE STRONG," ISRAFIL told her, he clenched his jaw, so tight he thought his teeth would crack under pressure. Slowly and cautiously, one of his hands reached up, the pad of his thumb swiping over her skin, wiping away a clear droplet that fell from her eye. Her eyes followed the movement, her body trembling so hard she worried about falling off the edge of the bed and back onto the floor.
"When-" He paused for a moment, pondering on whether he should even continue. "When I spoke to Noah he told me all of the things he had done to you-"
Farah shoved his hand away so quickly that he couldn't even react. "You what?" Her voice cracked with fragile incredulity. Did he already know about that? She couldn't fathom it. The thought alone had her heart slamming against her ribs with a newfound vigor. "What did the fuck did he say to you?" She asked slowly.
Israfil lowered his head with shame, knowing there was now backtracking from here. "He talked about how much he hurt you," More hesitation.
Don't say it! She wanted to scream, Don't you fucking dare!
Farah's breathing was labored, the seconds seemed to tick by ten times slower than usual. When his cerulean eyes met hers, she wanted to crawl up into a corner and never return. Her hands were shaking so terribly and bile threatened to crawl up her throat from nauseousness, tears burning her waterline so fiercely she was convinced they would ignite.
Israfil swallowed so hard she could see his Adam's apple bob up and down. "And that-" He choked on the words, "He raped you."
It's not like Farah hadn't anticipated what he was going to say, but hearing the statement hanging in the air made it hurt all the more. She couldn't face him, couldn't stand to see his hidden disgust. The side of her hip pricked, and she was reminded of the scar that was cut deep into the skin, reviving the hauntings of her past. "No," Farah said loudly, now crying. "You don't get to know that about me, Israfil." She stood up abruptly, pulling away.
"Is it because you don't trust me?" He asked, "Is that why you didn't tell me?"
She scoffed, aggressively rubbing at her cheeks to rid herself of the tears. "Don't you dare say that, not after everything I just told you." Her voice raised, "That was my fucking story to tell."
Why wasn't he disgusted? Why hadn't he kicked her out already or even beaten her for it? If he had known all this time, why had he treated her like he maybe even had... feelings for her, or cared about her? The astonishment of it had her head spinning.
