Closer Than You Realize

Chapter 6

     When I walked into English first period, I walked over to Mr. Jackson with a smile on my face as I handed him my paper and the check.

     "What's got you all smiley this morning? You're never happy first period in the morning." He asked skeptically.

     "I don't know, really. Guess I'm just in a good mood." I told him, and I could've skipped away like a kid on Christmas morning. That was until Jackson mentioned Tyson.

     "How'd Saturday go with Tyson?"

     Had he thought that I was happy because of Tyson? Did he think I was in a good mood because I no longer hated the boy I had all my classes with?

     Was I happy because of Tyson and our civil conversations on Saturday?

     "Fine." I shrugged. "We didn't argue pretty much the whole day, so I guess that's good, right?"

     "Yeah, definitely a good thing." Jackson replied with a weird smile. "Glad you had a good day."

     "I never said it was a good day, I just said we didn't fight." I scrunched up my forehead and pursed my lips.

     "You didn't have to." He said with a smile adults give children when they know something the kids don't and it made my stomach turn, which in turn made Jackson chuckle. "Take a seat, Lydia."

     I did as I was told, but all I could see was Jackson's face in my head and it made me feel uncomfortable as I continued to glance at the door waiting for Tyson to come in.

     The bell was about to ring as Tyson strolled into the classroom, looking a bit frazzled, but I seemed to be the only one who noticed his change in demeanor.

     He was carrying a stack of paper and didn't look at me as he passed by on his way to Jackson's desk, but I told myself I wasn't offended. Just because we talked Saturday didn't mean we were best friends. But when we didn't talk at all during the class, I got concerned, and it was when class was over that I became confused.

     Adam was on a college tour that day and he wasn't in school, so Tyson and I were the last two in the classroom after the class ended.

     "Hey, Tyson." I greeted him with a smile.

     "Hey." He murmured, not looking interested in speaking to me at all.

     The conversation started off way more awkward than I had anticipated, and I feared it would only get worse.

     "So, you decided to do the essay after all?" I joked with a hesitant smile.

     "Yeah." He grumbled.

     I raised my eyebrows and looked at him with a confused look on my face. "How'd it come out?"

     "Fine, you know, whatever." He mumbled.

     I didn't really know what to say to that, and because of the tone he was using, the smile that had once been on my face was washed away and I was flooded over with confusion and a bit of anger.

     "So I was wondering if you wanted to-" I began, but the blonde boy before me cut me off mid-sentence.

     "Thanks but no thanks." He said and started to walk off.

     "But I didn't even-"

     "You didn't have to, the answer's no." Tyson said just before exiting the classroom and walking to study.

     My mouth agape, I stood staring at his retreating figure as my eyes welled up with tears.

     I wasn't upset he didn't want to hang out with me, or even listen to what I had to say, but the way he denied me was something I wasn't used to. What happened to the sweet guy from Saturday night?

      I didn't want anyone to see the tears in my eyes, so I quickly made my way to study while I rubbed my eyes and kept my head down.

     I didn't even get to sit down before Hayden whispered urgently to me, "What's wrong?"

     "What?" I asked feeling completely shocked.

     "Something's wrong, I can tell just by the way you're sitting. What is it?"

     "How can you tell?" I questioned with my head held high, acting like I hadn't just been rejected by someone I thought was my friend.

     I might not have acted like it, being upset and all, but it meant so much to me knowing how easily Hayden could tell that something was wrong and how much he truly cared about me.

     "We've been friends since we were three, I can just tell when you're upset. Spill it."

     "Fine." I said with a frown. "I thought after Saturday Tyson and I were in a good place and I thought we were friends, and to be honest, it doesn't look like he has too many of those, so I was gonna see if he wanted to hang out this weekend, but he didn't even listen to what I had to say! He just said no! And he told me he didn't need to hear what I had to say, the answer was no. Like, what did I ever do to him? I was just trying to be nice! I don't even care that he didn't want to hang out with me, but he could've been nicer and listened to what I had to say and made up an excuse for why he couldn't do something."

      "It's his loss, Lyddie. He could probably use a friend like you and he's passing up the opportunity."

     "Yeah, I guess." I frowned. I was still upset and nothing was going to change that.

     "I really don't like that guy."

     "Because he didn't want to hang out with me?" I asked with wide eyes.

     "That, and just the way he's acted before that. He's totally not the type of guy we would normally be friends with and I don't see any reason to change now."

      I agreed with my best friend on the outside, but I knew I wasn't going to give up on Tyson. If we were going to be spending the whole year together, we were going to be friends.

*~*~*

     Later that day in gym, like every other day, Tyson and I went in the weight room, but unlike every other day, I didn't run on the treadmill. I decided to attempt to do pull ups, because why not?

     When I walked over to the bar that was set up for athletes, I stood under it and could do nothing but just look up. The bar was higher than I anticipated and it was going to be harder to get up there than I thought.

     As I stood under the bar with my hands above my head, gaging how high I'd need to jump to reach the bar, Tyson said to me, "Are you gonna do it or what? It's agonizing just watching you stand there."

     "Oh, so you're talking to me now?" I snapped.

     "When wasn't I?"

     "After English." I said with a hard glare.

     "Look Lydia, just because we hung out and talked on Saturday doesn't mean we're friends and it doesn't mean we have to be. You're not special; you don't know anything more about me than other people do at this school and you don't need to. I'm not friends with really anyone at this school, and you're no different than the others. I have one friend and that's enough." He replied as he looked right me.

     Ouch.

     For some reason, I wasn't mad at him. I was just hurt.

     Tyson's words stung a little, but I wasn't about to let him know that, which is why I childishly stormed out of the weight room with a scowl on my face and asked to use the bathroom as an excuse to wander around the school.

     How dare he say that me? First he told me he didn't want to hang out with me, which fine, I wasn't going to force him.

     But then he told me he didn't even want to be friends after acting like we were friends on Saturday? If he didn't want to be friends, then he shouldn't have acted the way he did on the way home from our little road trip.

     I didn't even know why it bothered me so much, but it did, and I couldn't shake the hurt I was feeling. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be friends, but I knew we were.