Afraid of Being Alive (Shane Walsh Love Story)

Chapter 18: Mindless Instinct

"No deal, Lori."

"You know you still want me, you know you still love me."

"I never loved you to begin with Lori!" I bellowed, losing my temper and shoving her roughly back, "I'm one of those guys that just wants to fuck and be done with it. I don't want love, I never wanted love from you Lori; I just wanted sex. It was the fucking apocalypse, you and I both needed comfort, that's how we got it!"

She looked up at me with a bewildered expression on her face, her big brown eyes bugging out at me, "fuck you." She spat, raising her hand and scratching me down the side of my neck, her nails gathering flakes of my skin underneath them.

"Gah!" I choked, raising my hand to my neck mad clutching it.

She clamped her hands over her mouth at realisation of what had just gone down.

"You bitch." I sneered, kicking the coffee table as hard as I could with my foot and grabbing the door handle, swinging the door roughly open and slamming it behind me in a fury of anger.

~ Zelda's POV ~

Here it came again.

"Ugh-ack-eughrgh!"

The vomit burned my throat on the way up and over.

"Eurgh-erhr-glurch!"

I held my hair back with one hand as I spewed over the toilet in Shane's dorm.

"Eurghhurrr!"

I heard hurried and fast paced footsteps making their way through the door of the dorm. The bathroom door swung open at lighting fast speed, slamming into the tiled wall.

Shane stood in the door frame, his brown eyes burning.

"Zel!" He exclaimed, running through the door and sliding down onto his knees beside me, getting himself into a kneeling position behind me and clamping his hands over my own which were currently busy holding back my hair.

"It's alright baby, get it all out." He whispered, rubbing my back with one hand and holding my hair with the other, "it's okay, go right ahead."

"Gurghl-bleurgh-eurghgl!" I vomited, "ack."

I brought my head back from the toilet bowl and wiped my mouth with the back of my arm, getting up and away from Shane to the sink and washing my face with cold water.

"I think that's all of it." I said, my voice weak and shaky as my hands shook when shutting the taps off, "what did Lori want? She looked pissed."

"Nothing." He replied quickly, "don't worry about a thing, I love you."

I nodded as he caressed my cheek with his thumb, stroking it before planting a kiss on the top of my head, "I love you too." I whispered.

~

I woke up the next morning draped over the couch in Shane's dorm, whilst Shane's body was strewn across the floor next to the couch. Our hands were touching through the night as mine hung down from the couch and his lay limp on the floor. We must have fallen asleep holding hands as this normally didn't occur as a coincidence.

I hastily opened one eye and took a peek at Shane's sleeping body on the floor next to me, three empty bottles of red wine lying down by the couch. I got up into a seated position and swung my legs over the side of the couch, gently nudging Shane in the side with my foot.

"Oi, ladder-boy, rise and motherfucking shine princess." I smiled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with my hands.

"It's been over a month already and you still haven't dropped that nickname, have ya?" He chuckled sweetly.